Lucia's Blog: 2021-08-01
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Thursday, August 5, 2021



"There are six things which Jehovah hateth; Yea, seven which are an abomination unto him:  Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood; A heart that deviseth wicked purposes, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness that uttereth lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."   
Proverbs 6:16-19

Our world is filled with violence and conflict. One of the greatest, most hopeful prophecies of Isaiah is that under the influence of Christ, men would convert their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. The Gospel and its Message of the cross give Christians strength to lay aside their bitter resentments and forgive all men. Forgiveness brings peace. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

It is sad that many can't get along with others. Sadder still, many Christians cannot get along even with their brethren in Christ.  The proverb does not say that God hates the sowing of discord. It says that God hates the person who sows discord among brethren.  In God's eyes, such a man is worthless, wicked, abominable, detestable, disgusting, and revolting.  In Proverbs 6:14, the worthless person has a perverted heart that devises evil, continually sowing discord.  God looks upon this sin of discord with great disgust.   Even though discord is wrong and abominable, the sowing of discord is sinful and abominable to God.  How easy it is to divide!  It is like taking a clock apart and putting it back together so that it will function effectively.  By the same token, it is easier to tear down than to build up.  It is easier to destroy than to build.  So what is the remedy? How can we avoid this terrible and disgusting sin of discord?  First, we must stop it early before it breaks out (Prov. 7:14). We must heed the pleading of the Lord to get along with each other. 
"I exhort Euodia, and I exhort Syntyche, to be of the same mind in the Lord."  (Phil. 4:2)  

Sadly, some Christians confuse contending for the faith (Jude 3) with being contentious.  God is a God of peace (1  Cor. 14:33).  When we create disharmony among brethren, we work against the very nature of God.  God wants unity among His children.  Sowing discord among brethren is like working against God.  That is very serious!  Discord impairs God's purpose for us. It harms the Gospel, our fellowship, worship, spiritual growth, and the saving of souls.  You see, discord hurts everyone in the family of God. It causes weariness of heart, mind, and spirit. 


The word discord means "strife, a lack of concord, disagreement, dissension, conflict, arguments, fighting or quarreling."  One who sows discord loves to start fights, stir up problems, and cause trouble, among others.  So what does the Bible say about the terrible sin of discord and those guilty of this sin?  

  • They are worthless and wicked:
 "A worthless person, a wicked man... he devises evil continually, he sows discord" (Prov. 6:12, 14).
  • They are an abomination to God: 
"These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him... one who sows discord among brethren"  (Prov. 6:16-19).
  • They are perverse: 
"A perverse man sows strife" (Prov. 16:28).
  • They are a stumbling block: 
"And he said unto his disciples, It is impossible but that occasions of stumbling should come; but woe unto him, through whom they come! 2 It were well for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, rather than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble"  (Luke 17:1-2).  

A person who starts fights causes offenses and is a stumbling block to others. The Lord pronounces woe upon him.
  • They are focused on foolish and ignorant things:
 "But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife" (2 Tim. 2:23).
  • They are earthly, sensual, and demonic: 
"Who is wise and understanding among you? let him show by his good life his works in meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter jealousy and faction in your heart, glory not and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not a wisdom that cometh down from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where jealousy and faction are, there is confusion and every vile deed. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without variance, without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for them that make peace"  (James 3:13-18).

Our actions and behavior show what is inside our hearts.  Troublemakers reject the wisdom from above but instead choose the wisdom from the world. 
  • They want to rule and be in charge: 
"I wrote the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us"  (3 John 9).
  • They will go to hell: 
"Now the works of the flesh are obvious... hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy... I tell you about these things in advance—as I told you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God"  (Gal. 5:19-21).
  • Those who divide must be marked and avoided: 
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them" (Rom. 16:17).

"Throw out the mocker and strife departs, too; furthermore, quarrels and discord will end"  (Prov. 22:10).

Indeed, we fight a great war against Satan with the special arms that the Holy Spirit provides for us, and we do very well against the enemies on the outside. However, our most destructive enemies are within our own fellowship. Let us consider the strong warnings our Lord gives us concerning the sowers of discord.


The Word of God speaks with a clear voice against sowing seeds of discord among brethren.  Through His inspired Word, God urges His children against the wrong seeds that bring discord and displease Him.  Our God in heaven wants His children to be united. He wants His children to live in harmony with one another It pleases Him! We must learn to get along!
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!"  (Psalm 133:1
This concerns Him so much that Jesus, in one of His famous prayers, prayed for this unity, saying:
 "I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me."  (John 17:20-21)

Let us keep in mind that sowing strife is not the same as standing up for the Truth.  Sometimes if we stand up for what is right, there will be strife.  In these cases, the problem is on the back of the one who chooses to oppose what is right.  "Sowing strife" is another way of saying "causing unnecessary trouble" or being a "trouble-maker."  Those who sow discord are like a plague, and God says they must be stopped.  God wants His children to worship in a healthy manner and have healthy spiritual lives.  God wants us to have good spiritual health.

The apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians, inspired by the Holy Spirit, made an appeal to them concerning living in harmony with one another, saying:  
"Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment."  (I Corinthians 1:10)  

He also exhorted the brethren at Ephesus, saying:  
"Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."  (Ephesians 4:3)

Our God loves peace.
"He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it."  (I Peter 3:1)
Unfortunately, many among us are willing to disrupt that peace because of our evil desires or intentions.  Intentions to cause harm and sow seeds of discord, nothing more. In James, we have been warned about the evil that jealousy and selfishness produce in our hearts, sowing discord.
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing."  (James 3:16)

It miserably robs us of that peace and harmony we need so much.

In the Old Testament, we have been warned that of the many things the LORD hates, sowing the seeds of discord among His children is right there in the top six or seven:  
"There are six things which Jehovah hateth; Yea, seven which are an abomination unto him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood; A heart that deviseth wicked purposes, Feet that are swift in running to mischief, A false witness that uttereth lies, And he that soweth discord among brethren."  (Proverbs 6:16-19)

This is not the character of God in us, and God disapproves of it. It is serious because it divides us and makes us unlike God. It robs us of our faith and hope.  We must stay away from those who sow discord because they cause severe damage to the body of Christ. They are selfish, for they're serving their own appetites, not the Lord.  They need to walk the narrow way. They deceive with empty and shallow words, taking many innocent souls captive.  
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."  (Romans 16:17-18)

God values unity, harmony, and peace. So should we! Paul urges the brethren in Ephesus and us to endeavor “to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). To reject the words of the Holy Spirit is to fail to  “walk worthily of the calling with which you were called” (Eph. 4:1). Paul likewise pleaded with the Philippian brethren to “fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same life, being of one accord, of one mind” (Phil. 2:2).  Sadly, not everyone seeks to be of one accord.  Some delight in "sowing discord" instead of unity. 

"Planning evil with a perverse mind, continually stirring up discord."  (Prov. 6:14)

“Discord” is elsewhere translated as “strife.”

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." (Prov. 10:12)

Discord is contention and quarreling. Some feel pleasure in stirring up arguments and quarrels.  God abhors those who sow discord among brethren, Prov. 6:19!  

Sowing discord is in the same company as sins such as arrogance, lying, murder, and perjury. 

So my question is:  What are the "seeds of discord"?  Consider the following causes and the cure for these wrong kinds of seeds and diseases of the heart: 


Let us consider ten divisive behaviors that can damage and destroy relationships causing seeds of discord and ugly divisions among us, the body of Christ, His church:  

  • Evil Pleasures, Fleshly (Lust), and Worldliness:   
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."  (James 4:1-3)  

James 4 starts by saying, 
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?"  

In this Scripture, James talks about strife and quarreling and the origins or source of verbal conflicts and arguments among us.  Notice how he answers this question with another question.  
"Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?"  (James 4:1)  

You see, bickering and quarreling originate in our physical desire for pleasure.  That is, getting and having things our own way!  The truth is that selfishness is the cause or source of all conflicts.  Although the word "selfishness" is not in this verse, the concept definitely is.  When someone desires to have something, they will try to get it at any cost; thus, conflict is unavoidable.  There will be conflict unless everyone surrenders to that person's desires.  Indeed, this is a powerful truth! 

The consequence of following this world's wisdom and not God's wisdom is bitter jealousy, envy, selfish ambition, chaos, ruin, and every vile practice.  The result of worldly wisdom is disorder and every vile practice. Following the wisdom of the world destroys our souls and creates severe problems for the Lord's church. Why?  Because we sadly see Christians fighting with other Christians.  So our divisions, hurt feelings, tension, and strife are readily seen by outsiders.  The church is crippled by so much carnality (division, fighting with one another) that it becomes dysfunctional and stops shining its light amid so much darkness.   James 4 identifies the sinfulness of these brethren causing these problems among themselves.  

Worldly wisdom leads to fighting and quarreling (James 4:1).  

  1. We quarrel and fight because of pride, malice, covetousness, ambition, and revenge
  2. Setting our hearts, minds, and souls on earthly pleasures weakens us and divides us. 
We are not walking in the Spirit when we are led by the lust of the flesh and its pleasures. You can be sure it will bring us conflict and quarrels that cause war.

We live in a pleasure-driven world where everyone desires to be happy no matter what.  
  1. They are slaves to their passions (evil pleasures, lust, and worldliness).  
  2. They hunger and thirst for them.  
  3. Their passions are at war within themselves.  
  4. So they have "wars and fights" among themselves.  
James 3:13 poses the question, 
"Who is wise and understanding among you?" 

Notice that he is talking to Christians as he observes their conflicts, quarrels, fights, and strife.

Often we blame others when there is strife. We blame those whose actions hurt us. But that is not James' answer! James clearly states that the problem resides within us!  Each one of us is guilty!  Why?  

  1. Because battles and fights often spring from our selfish hearts, the desires to please our flesh. 
  2. Because we choose to reject the wisdom of God for the wisdom of the world.  
  3. When we allow the wisdom of God to rule our hearts and mind, the result will be peace, gentleness, openness to reason, the fullness of mercy, and the bearing of good fruits (James 3:17-18).  

Once again, where do fights and quarrels come from? Obviously, not from the wisdom of God! They originate from our selfish passions and desires that are at war within us.  It is sinful to have fights, quarrels, and strife among Christians. Rather we Christians must submit to God’s wisdom when there is strife. Quarrels and strife have no room in the kingdom of God and His righteousness! 

We desire and do not have, so we murder.  We fight and quarrel because we covet and cannot obtain what we want. The problem is a self-centered heart and mind.  Notice the parallels between "desire and do not have" with "covet and cannot obtain." Also, "murder" parallels "fight and quarrel."  James is revealing the malice and animosity among themselves.  In Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus declared that hating our brother was a sin, just like murder.

James explains two reasons why they do not have. 

    • First, they do not have because they do not ask. 
It seems to me that their prayers to God had ceased entirely.  They failed to ask God for the things they needed the most. They were ruled by their carnal desires, running amuck without control or discipline. They wanted, wanted, wanted. How terrible is that!  The writer of Proverbs stated, "The leech has two daughters: Give and give" (Proverbs 30:15).  Aren't we guilty of this at times?  We seem to want and want. We think we deserve it all.   Our degree of materialism is astounding!  We desire power, respect, honor, popularity, and the like instead of examining our hearts and seeking God.  Why are we so self-seeking?!  It is time to repent!

    • The second problem is that they were asking “wrongly,” though they were asking God.  
Have you ever thought that you might be praying wrongly? We deceive ourselves when we believe that all that matters is that we pray.  You see, how we pray to God does matter to Him.  James said they prayed to ask for things to spend on their passions. In a few words, their prayers were selfish and self-absorbed.  They were not praying according to God’s will or their spiritual well-being.  They were praying to fulfill their passions and desires. Do we expect God to respond to our prayers when they are selfish and self-absorbed?  What do you think? 
  • Unrighteous and Godless Judgment:   
Are we, Christians, supposed to judge one another? Let us consider a few texts that would point us both ways. Let us first focus on those verses that exhort us not to judge 
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you."  (Matthew 7:1-5)  
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven."  (Luke 6:37) 
"The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son."  (John 5:22) 
"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself."  (I Corinthians 4:3) 
"Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God."  (I Corinthians 4:5)  

All this being said about not judging, let us look at some other passages that point in the other direction: that we should judge:  
"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."  (John 7:24)   

In I Corinthians 5:12-6:7, we read how the church must judge all matters of life involving everyone in the church.

"For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?"  (I Corinthians 5:12)
"Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life?"  (I Corinthians 6:3)  

So the question is:  
  1. How does one judge righteous judgment rather than godless judgment? 
  2. Should we judge at all?  

YES, but we must use good and righteous judgment as taught in Scripture, considering what the Word of God has to say on all matters. This, of course, requires us to study what Matthew 7:1-5 says in context.
 "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."'  

Matthew 7:1-5 is one of the most well-known, misquoted, and abused Scriptures in the Bible. 
  1. So, is it right to teach that we Christians should never make any judgment about others? 
  2. Is that what Jesus implied? 
  3. How does one judge righteous judgment rather than godless judgment?
  4. Does He want us to keep silent, do nothing, and make no judgments when others are doing wrong and walking in rebellion? 
  5. Must we not rebuke sin? 
  6. Is it wrong to correct sin? 

As Christians, we must exercise righteous judgment with each other.  All mature Christians must discern (judge) both good and evil. We must discern (judge) between the righteous and the wicked, the faithful and the unfaithful, and the one who serves God and the one who does not.

When any follower of Jesus corrects others and rebukes sin in their life, they quickly get angry and lose self-control. But the Bible commands that we warn others about sin.   Jesus, the meek and lowly, rebuked sin and commanded His disciples to rebuke it. We see this clearly throughout the New Testament when they condemned sin with Jesus’ approval. Many think one cannot rebuke or correct sin unless one has never sinned. But is that correct? No! Why? Because Jesus Himself commanded His disciples to rebuke sin even though they had committed sin, which they had repented of. We have many Scriptures that teach us to judge all things. Obviously, we don’t need to have a sinless life to rebuke sin, for if we fail to do it, we will have sinned because we disobeyed those passages that command us to do it! We must understand that the Bible does not prohibit judging sin but even demands that we do so. Take, for instance, John 7:24.

 "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment."

    • "Judge not, that you be not judged." (Matthew 7:1
Let us not take this verse out of context.  Isn’t it something how many people use this Scripture when they know so few other Scriptures, but they use this one when a child of God must correct their sinful behavior!  Their favorite response is, “The Bible says to not judge me.” “How dare you question me or suggest that I am wrong?!”  Thus, they use Matthew 7:1 as a weapon to teach that zero judgment must be made about others.  But, really, is that what Jesus taught? Did Jesus teach that we must leave one another alone without making any judgments about sin in our lives? What do you think?  Jesus never intended for His words to be misinterpreted.  So why not study the Scriptures to discern what they teach us about judging others?  Christians are commanded to judge all things. 
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one."  (1 Corinthians 2:15)  

The following are some Scriptures that speak about judging.
  1. "For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside" (1 Corinthians 5:12–13).
  2. "But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed" (Galatians 1:8).
  3. "Beloved, do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1).
  4. "But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned"  (Galatians 2:11).
  5. "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15).
  6. "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment" (John 7:24).
  7. "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:15–16).
  8. "Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him" (Luke 17:3).
  9. "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them" (Ephesians 5:11).
  10. "Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths" (2 Tim. 2-4).
  11. "He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.  10 For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. 11 They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. 12 One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” 13 This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, 14 not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth"  (Titus 1:9-14).
  12. “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).
  13. "As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear" (1 Tim. 5:20).
  14. "And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all" (1 Thess. 5:14).
  15. "As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him" (Titus 3:10).
  16. "Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you" (Titus 2:15).
  17. "But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned" (Gal. 2:11).
  18. "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted" (Gal. 6:1).
  19. "Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue" (Prov. 28:23).
  20. "Whoever says to the wicked, “You are in the right,”  will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations, 25 but those who rebuke the wicked will have delight,  and a good blessing will come upon them" (Prov. 24:24-25).

The Scriptures are clear enough about making judgments. In fact, Jesus commands us to judge in Matthew 7:1-6 to determine whether or not a Christian has a speck in his eyeJesus, in no way, implies that we may never make any judgment.  If we want to please the Lord, we must rightly divide the Scriptures to determine exactly what Jesus does not want us to do.  Why not read the rest of the paragraph to draw the proper inference or interpretation of this command? 

    • The reason not to judge:  (Matthew 7:2-4)  
"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?"

Jesus warned us to not judge others because “with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” He was not speaking about making right and godly judgments.  Why?  Because He was talking about making human, unrighteous, and unreasonable judgments. Jesus’ command was to help us make sound and fair judgments about others.  Since God judges us justly and mercifully, we must do the same with others.  Thus, He commands us to judge others justly and mercifully.

Now in verses 3-4,
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?"

We begin to see how Jesus is dealing with the problem of judging. 
  1. Jesus uses the example of someone who eagerly wants to see and point out everyone else’s faults but cannot see his own. 
  2. Jesus is trying to make us see and understand that the person who cannot see his own faults and shortcomings will not judge others fairly. 

Jesus’ illustration is hyperbole.  We may see the speck (a splinter of wood or chaff) in another person's eye, but we are examining their lives in such detail that we fail to see the log (a large beam of wood) in our own eye.  Jesus wants us to know that such behavior is outrageous! How convenient it is to notice the splinter in the other person’s eye but not be aware of the log protruding from our own eye! What hypocrisy!

How can it be easier to see a speck than to see a beam such as they use in building a house or barring the doors against the dangers of the night?  We have eagle eyes when it comes to the faults of others and miss not the slightest detail. Why do we do that? 

How do we manage to miss the glaring faults that honest people all around us can easily see?  Let’s consider why this happens.
  1. The reason is that we fail to examine ourselves and take a good look at ourselves in the mirror of Jesus Christ. 
  2. We are so focused on looking at the faults, flaws, failures, problems, and issues of others that we fail to see our own enormous failures and the glaring shortcomings in our lives.  

How awful that must be!  It is self-righteousness and arrogance.  
  1. How easy it is to judge others but refuse to judge or examine ourselves by the same measurement or standard!  
  2. How terrible it is to pass judgment on someone else for doing the same thing we are doing, but when we are doing it, we justify ourselves!
  3. How easy it is for us to find an excuse for our actions, claiming that it is okay for us and not for others! 
  4. How easy it is to demand that others do what we are not willing to attempt to do ourselves!
  5. How easy it is to judge others without any understanding or compassion whatsoever!
  6. How sad and awful it is when we look into the spiritual mirror and still cannot see ourselves for who we really are! 
  7. How sad it is to judge others but refuse to judge or fail to examine ourselves!
  8. Do you appreciate fault finders when they come to you and bring every single flaw and mistake you make? 
  9. Do you want to be nitpicked for every shortcoming in your life? Of course not!  
  10. Why not measure yourself by the same judgment with which you measure others?
  11. Why be so quick to make wrong, false, unfair, and unrighteous judgments about others?
  12. Why be so hypocritical, seeing and pointing out the sins of others but failing to see our own?  
  13. Why not follow the Master’s words and example of compassion and humility when judging the sins of others?  

It is awful to condemn others while we justify ourselves when we do the same things or worse!   That is altogether different.  But James warns us about failing to see ourselves for who we really are.
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like” (James 1:22–24).

Why is it so difficult for many to look in the mirror and see themselves for who they really are and what they have done?   Let this sink deeply into our hearts! 

We must examine ourselves and pay attention to the enormous failures, flaws, and shortcomings in our own lives. The log in the eye dramatizes an attitude of the heart that is self-righteousness in full bloom! Why? Because we find it easier to condemn others while we justify ourselves for doing the same thing.  Have you ever done that?  Thus, we must not condemn others while practicing similar sins. So the question is:  How can we help another get the mote out of his eye when we have an enormous beam in our own eye?!  Think about it!

From a sincere heart, let us judge ourselves first so we can judge others.  Remember, God is provoked and angered by hypocrites who earnestly condemn everyone’s sins but fail to see their own (Romans 2:1-3, 17-24).  This is the kind of judging that the Lord condemns in Matthew 7:1-5. Jesus calls us hypocrites when we judge others unfairly and hold others to a different standard than ourselves.

  • So what is the solution to this shameful behavior?   (Matthew 7:5)
"5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
  1. First, start looking at ourselves, carefully examining our actions before looking at others to judge them. 
  2. To first examine our own hearts to see our own sins and failings before we dare to judge and confront others with their failures and shortcomings.  

Thus we must first judge our own lives with the same standard we use for judging others.  

By doing this, we can properly understand the first two verses of this chapter.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”  

In Romans 14:10, we read, 
"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God."  

We are reminded about judging our brother. Let us not forget that one day we all will stand before the Judge of all men, both great and small, 
"So then each of us will give an account of himself to God." (Romans 14:12)  

Our Almighty God will measure you and me with the same standard by which we have measured others.   We will give an account of everything to God.  He will judge us the way we have judged others.  On that final day, our Creator will pass final judgment. In Psalm 119:138, we read,
"You have appointed your testimonies in righteousness and in all faithfulness." 

It means that we must make judgments that are in perfect harmony with the Word of God, as stated in John 7:24.  Let us keep in mind what Jesus said about judging righteous judgment to maintain harmony and get along with one another. We must stop using godless judgment!  Let us not violate our Lord's command of Matthew 7:1-5; John 5:30, and John 7:24.  Let us not fail our Lord by not obeying and keeping His commands.
"For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy.  Mercy triumphs over judgment."  James 2:13.  

In the end, this is the judgment that really matters.  Think about that! 
  • Gossip, Defamation, and Slander:  
“You shall not go about as a slanderer among your people, and you are not to act against the life of your neighbor; I am the Lord”  (Leviticus 19:16).
“A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends”  (Proverbs 16:28).
“As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!”  (Proverbs 25:23)

Although this little fox of gossip and slander can be small, it can inevitably destroy our souls.  The Bible speaks of gossip as evil speaking, tale-bearing, whispering, and slander. The word gossip is defined as "small talk or chatter about someone, often about things heard from others but not known to be facts." However, it is not small talk with God.  I believe that's why the Bible uses much stronger words than gossip.  Consider a few Scriptures that warn us about gossip and slander.
“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.”  (James 4:11)
“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.”  (1 Peter 2:1

Clearly, the effects of gossip and slandering are destructive.  Why?  Because it destroys love, friendships, and people's trust in others.  Let us then put into practice what the Word of God declares.
“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6).

Sadly, many equate frankness with truthfulness, taking pride in being honest toward all men. However, honesty does not give one license to defame or slander a child of God by gossiping about him.  God's Word demands that we “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother”  (Matt. 18:15).

Another way of gossiping is to pass on information about someone that might damage his reputation.  Let us be careful and reflect on the danger of this matter!  Likewise, let us be wise and cautious and not be so eager to disclose the faults and failings of others.  Let us apply the golden rule of our Lord and Master in Luke 6:31
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”  

Undoubtedly, the wounds of gossip, slander, and defamation are devastating.  These wounds leave behind painful consequences, which are sometimes beyond repair.
"The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body."  (Proverbs 18:8)
    • Gossip separates friends, especially close friends:
It is evil, and one must repent of it! It is a terrible thing to do to anyone, especially in the body of Christ.  
    • Gossip also sows strife and digs up evil:
"A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire." (Proverbs 16:27)
    • It destroys a man's soul, digging his own grave:
"A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul."  (Proverbs 18:7)

Unfortunately, the gossiper destroys not only his own soul but the souls of others.  It is one of the worst evils. It is as harmful as unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, hate, and drunkenness (Romans 1:29-30; Titus 2:3).

So the best way to resist a gossiper or slanderer is to let him know that your ears are not trash cans for gossip.  Being a good listener to gossip or slander will lure us into sharing our gossip with the gossiper.  Be wise and do not partake of this evil fruit of darkness but rather rebuke them (Eph. 5:11). Otherwise, you will be in danger of losing your soul eternally.  Think about it!

If there is no need to talk, zip your lips, and be silent!  Do not gossip or slander others!
  1. Are you one that likes to hear others criticize and condemn our brethren?  
  2. Do you make a habit of criticizing and making fun of other brethren so that you can feel more righteous and faithful?  
  3. Do you talk about others, even brethren, when they cannot discuss Bible subjects or ideas well?  

We must remember that once someone's reputation is damaged, it cannot be repaired.  Try releasing feathers in the wind and see if you can gather them up!  Remember that love must be without hypocrisy of heart (Romans 12:9; 1 Peter 4:8).  Love does not speak evil, backbite, or defame in the absence of others.  
"The words of a whisperer are as dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts."  (Proverbs 26:22)
"To speak evil of no man, not to be contentious, to be gentle, showing all meekness toward all men."  (Titus 3:2)

The Bible defines this terrible illness of the heart and seed of discord as accusatory speech intended to harm a person's name and reputation. It is like committing a crime against someone’s character. Sadly, one major component of this sin is that the person is ignorant of the situation in both cases. These talebearers often avoid speaking directly to the one they are demeaning and intending to harm. 

Did you know we find this word in the New Testament 33 times?  Jesus said,
"You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."  (John 8:44)  

Sadly, many Christians speak as the devil. Satan is called the accuser. 
"And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers[a] has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God."  (Revelation 12:10)  

It is he who accused Job ( Job 1:9-11).  My question is:  Are you taking the role of the accuser of our brethren along with the devil?  He loves to come into our hearts and thoughts to accuse others unjustly. We have a choice. We may choose to reject those thoughts and accusations. Let us be careful and not fall into the snares of the devil. This is a grave sin, and we must repent, or we will die eternally. The danger is not just speaking these accusations but also receiving them into our hearts and minds. We are still bearing false witness in our hearts. Take heed, and do not sin!

Let us be careful when judging, not to assume that we know the truth when we actually do not. Let us not take God's place. Satan has tried that since the beginning.  Lest we forget, by speaking these accusations against one another, we are speaking evil against our brethren.
"Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.  There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?"  (James 4:11-12)

Most people who love to spread gossip never realize that they are also engaging in slander with this evil behavior. Gossip and slander violate the Lord's Precepts and Truth.  If you want God to extend mercy to you, you must start granting that same mercy to others by not gossiping and slandering them.

Let us be on the alert and recognize Satan's evil ways. He is called the accuser of the brethren. Let us consider some of the signs of a spirit of accusation
  • Always being suspicious of others. 
  • Having bitterness in our hearts toward others. 
  • Being easily offended without a cause. 
  • Having envy and jealousy toward others.
  • Believing the worst about others. 
  • Exaggerating the offenses of others. 
  • Judging godlessly rather than righteously. 
  • Holding people accountable because of their past failures. 
  • Imposing our scruples as standards for others. 
  • Using others as scapegoats. 
  • Putting someone down that we might look better. 
  • Taking “skeletons” out of the closet.  
  • Not accepting someone’s confession of sin and sorrow.  

All this being said, 
  1. Let us be aware that gossip and slander are destructive (Prov. 18:8, 26:22).  
  2. Gossip and slander are compared to poison; once one drinks it, he cannot get it out of his system. 
  3. The damage is enormous!  
  4. It destroys people's relationships, separating them forever.  
  5. Let us be aware that one of Satan's tactics to destroy the church is gossip and slander. 

YES, Satan uses the mouth of those who claim to be Christians to tear down the church.  He uses this evil tactic to cause strife within the body and steal our peace and harmony.  My question is:  Are we doing Satan's work for him?  Let us carefully examine our hearts.
"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.  If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth."   (I John 1:5-6)  

Let us look closely at our walk and see if we are walking in the Light or darkness. Walking in darkness is using our tongues to hurt, destroy and cause divisions among God's children. God hates this evil behavior (Prov. 6:16-19).  Gossip, slander, and other sins of the tongue (which I will mention later) come from our hearts and manifest themselves in our mouths. Let us take heed to God's admonitions.
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"   (Psalm 141:3)  
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."  (Psalm 19:14)

May our speech to and about others be in accord with the apostle’s words.
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  (Ephesians 4:29-32)  

Are corrupt words coming out of our mouths that intend to tear another down, leaving them without hope? Are the words coming out of our mouths edifying others?  Let us take to heart the words of the apostle Paul. 
"Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people."  (Titus 3:1-2)

Let us search deep into the Word of God because it is full of wisdomGod's wisdom teaches us to behave like children worthy of Him.   

  • Railing and Backbiting:  
"Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"  (James 4:11-12)

This is another illness of the heart or seed of discord closely associated with gossip and slander. In some translations of the Bible, railing is known as reviling, blaspheming, and speaking evil. These two words, railing, and backbiting, mean to speak evil about another one. Unfortunately, this is always done behind the other person's back.  Many times their statements are exaggerated with a negative intention.
    • Biting and Excoriating:
“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).

Do you know what’s not glory? The biting and excoriating.  Swallow your anger! It tastes bitter, but it is good medicine. Godly wisdom chooses to delay and postpone getting angry when someone offends us.

The godly use discretion from God's wisdom.  He defers and ignores any transgression committed against him.  He turns the other cheek, overlooks provocation, and chooses mercy over wrath. Discretion is the ability to know the right action for any occasion. Deferring is putting off, delaying, or postponing something. Godly discretion is the mark of a wise man, a gracious and gentle spirit. It is also the mark of Christian maturity, for only fools quickly strike back.  Those with no discretion often are hostile, hurt others, get indignant, bite back, and plot revenge against those who offend them. They allow their feelings to rule their hearts. They do not know deferment, for they react first, then think about it later. This is the mark of a proud and unyielding spirit (Pr. 16:28; 28:25).  It is contrary to wisdom and grace.
    • Biting and Devouring one another:  
"But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another."   (Galatians 5:15)

The phrase "if you bite" often refers to snakes and vipers.  When Paul wrote this letter to the Galatians, some had fallen prey to the teaching of the Judaizers.  Those evil men appear to have succeeded in their goal.  According to Paul, they had threatened the welfare of the Lord's church by their false teaching, and some brethren needed to be straightened out.  Their error had to be reversed.  But notice, Paul insisted that this teaching process from error to truth be carried out in love without destroying one another (biting and devouring one another).  This process of correction had to be handled correctly in love Why?  Because if they mishandled it, they were running the risk of consuming one another, resulting in destruction. The destruction of their souls!  Paul was pleading with these Galatian brethren to make corrections without causing additional harm.  He reminded them that their love and concern for one another was the key to making this difficult task successful.

This does not imply that the church should not engage in stern or strict action against error from within. Paul made it perfectly clear in 1 Corinthians 5, where he used hard words to correct sin within the church.  And though love must motivate and move us when dealing with sin, there comes a time when that love means doing what's in the best interest of others.  Sadly, such action is necessary for the welfare of the whole congregation.  Thus we must be cautious about how we do it since the souls of our brethren are at stake.  We must not handle it unwisely but responsibly.  Again, even though the action is essential, we must do our best for the welfare of the churchWe must not consume each other and be lost!  Take heed!

Do you know that we are made manifest to the world?  Are we aware that the world is watching and observing every step we take?  

Jesus pleaded with the Father asking, 
"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me."  (John 17:21)

He also commanded His disciples, saying,
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  (John 13:34-35)
If we bite and devour one another, the world (those who have not obeyed the Gospel) will know that we are not Christ's disciples.  Because of our ungodly behavior, they will conclude that we are not the Lord's church.  Those who have been redeemed walk in righteousness and holiness. We must stop biting and devouring one another and start serving each other!!  Love for others will not permit us to destroy others in the name of freedom.  

Sadly, some backbiters destroy entire congregations (Prov. 25:23; 2 Cor. 11:20; 2 Cor. 12:20).  Let us be careful and not destroy our brethren in the name of freedom.  Love will not permit us to do that.  Freedom is found in love, not in reckless irresponsibility.  If your freedom is irresponsible, it will destroy others.

Again, those who profess to be followers of Christ must continually examine their hearts and speech to see what is coming out of their mouths. This is serious! Why not ask yourselves if the statement we are making about the other person is something we would want to say if that person were present?  Why be a backbiter and speak evil of one another if we would not have the courage to speak these bad things in front of them?  Why speak evil behind someone's back?  It is evil!  God will judge us in the end.  

Notice that the Bible calls evil speaking “unrighteousness.”
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."  (I Corinthians 6:9-10) 

Do you think it is acceptable to our Father in heaven if you are neither homosexual nor a thief nor a drunkard, and yet you dare to speak evil of others?  Maybe in your eyes, you are not guilty of those sins, and you are better than them, but remember that in the eyes of our heavenly Father, you are not. He calls you an evildoer, unrighteousSo, according to this Scripture, you are as unrighteous as they are with your evil and blasphemous mouth and will not inherit the kingdom of God if you do not repent of this practice!

Let us imitate our Lord and Savior as the perfect example.
"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly."  (I Peter 2:21-23)  
Instead of Jesus speaking evil of those who unmercifully crucified Him, He prayed for them.
"And Jesus said,  Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' And they cast lots to divide his garments."'  (Luke 23:34) 

So my question is: 
  1. What do you do when others come against you in word or deed?  
  2. Is your immediate reaction to speak evil to others about what they did or are doing to you? 
  3. Are you praying for them like Jesus our Lord did?   
Let us take heed and not lose our salvation! 

Imagine what a blessing it would be if all of us were to pray for one another rather than putting each other down and speaking evil about them to others!  It would probably be like this:
"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing."  (I Peter 3:8-9) 

Do you know that when we bless others with our godly behavior, we, in return, are being blessed? This is called the law of reaping, Galatians 6:7
"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." 

Again, my question is:  
  1. What seeds are you sowing out of your mouth in the kingdom of Christ? 
  2. Are you sowing seeds of blessings or cursings? 
  3. What are you harvesting?  
Let us take to heart what James had to say to us.
"But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so."  (James 3:8-10

As the body of Christ, we must be a blessing to others when using our mouths. We must not curse or speak evil about others to harm them. YES, even when they seem to deserve it! If what comes out of our mouths are not blessings, let us keep a seal on it and instead pray for others.  God demands that of us!

Another question:  

How about grumbling and murmuring about others?  Is this not also sowing seeds of discord among us?  

James also wrote:
"Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door."  (James 5:9)  

Are you aware that you are condemning yourself when you complain about others? 

This comes back to the law of sowing and reapingGalatians 6:7.

Let us not forget that when we grumble about others, we are sitting in the judgment seat, behaving as the Judge rather than letting the true Judge, judge others.  Why not turn the other cheek and let the Word of God, His Law, correct them with righteous judgment?  
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."  (Matthew 7:1-2)  

Thanks be to God,, we have a God who does not grumble or complain and is longsuffering about our shortcomings! He is longsuffering because He wants us to repent and correct our crooked ways.  Indeed, our God is merciful and patient with His children.
"Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door."   
  1. Are we condemning ourselves when we grumble or speak evil about others? 
  2. Why not pray for them? 
  3. Why not help them be built up and rooted in the faith, helping them overcome their weaknesses and shortcomings? 

Let us be wise and use righteous judgment!


  • Lack of Forgiveness:  
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."   (Mark 11:25
"Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you."   (Col. 3:13)  

The sin of unforgiveness will eventually cost us our souls and send us to hell. Not only will it destroy our souls for eternity, but it will also destroy all relationships within the body of Christ, leaving us bitter and condemned.  My question is:
  1.  What is not forgiveness?  
  2. Is it ignoring all those who have wronged us? 
  3. Is it more than a refusal to strike someone, blow for blow, or tooth for tooth? 
  4. Is it ignoring or indulging in sin?  

In Luke 17:3, Jesus said to rebuke, not ignore. 
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."  

  • Is it putting the one who offends us on probation?
Forgiveness is doing precisely what God does when He forgives us.   He removes all wrongdoings from His record.
"Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."  (Acts 3:19)   

He forgets, erasing it out of His memory.
"For I will be merciful to their iniquities, And I will remember their sins no more.” (Heb. 8:12) 

And He treats us, His children, the same way He treated us before we sinned.  He receives us back wholly and sincerely.

  • How do we know we have forgiven someone who has wronged us?
  1. Simply by not rejoicing when he, the offender, has any misfortune. 
  2. By not avoiding his presence. 
  3. By not intimidating him and speaking harshly to him. 
  4. By not constantly remembering the wrong committed. 
  5. By praying for him before the Father on his behalf. 
  6. By doing good and not evil to him, the offender.  

This being said, let us take to heart the importance of forgiving one another. Why?
  • Because God demands it to enter the kingdom of heaven, Mark 11:25; Col. 3:13; Rev. 22:14; John 14:15.
  • Because Our Lord and Savior has left us an example, Luke 23:34; I Pet. 2:21-22; Phil. 2:5.
  • Because of the example demonstrated by the disciples, the early church, Acts 7:60.
  • Because love demands it, I Cor. 13:4; I Peter 4:8.
  • Because we have been forgiven much, Eph. 4:32; Matt. 18:23-35.
  • Because we need to forgive to be forgiven by the Father, Matt. 6:12,14,15; Mk. 11:25.
  • Because it is the only way to walk with God, Amos 3:3.
  • Because it is the only way to have complete fellowship with Him, I John 1:7.
  • Because we will be judged, and we never know when Christ will come to do it, Mk. 13:32.   We must not delay it.
  • Because on the last day, we do not want to be found wicked because of an unforgiving heart: a heart filled with ill will, resentment, bitterness, and, most importantly, unforgiveness.  

  • How can we learn to sow seeds of forgiveness?
  1. By remembering that hatred, ill will, bitterness and unforgiveness do more harm to the hater than anyone else.
  2. By being grateful, considering how greatly we have been forgiven without deserving it.
  3. By asking for God's help through prayer.
  4. By praying for our offender.
  5. By speaking words of grace and kindness about our offender toward others.
  6. By developing an understanding and loving heart.
  7. By extending the same grace and compassion granted to us, Matt. 5:7; Jas. 2:13; Matt. 18:33.  

  • How often must I forgive?  
"Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?'  Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)  
  • Who must take the initiative in forgiving?   

The offender, Matt. 5:23-24?  The offended one, Matt. 18:15-17?  Both need to take the initiative, meet halfway and reconcile. This is doing God's will. There is no other WAY.

  • How can we make it possible to forgive?  
  1. By not being thin-skinned. 
  2. By not being offended easily, I Cor. 13:5. 
  3. By dying to self and living by the Spirit, imitating Christ in us.
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.  And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.'"  (Luke 17:3-4)
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."  (Marks 11:25) 

Let us not slip up and lose our souls eternally with a heart filled with hate, ill will, resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness.

  • Lack of Love:    
 "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions."  (Proverbs 10:12)

Hatred seeks opportunities to provoke us against one another. It delights in beating upon others.  On the contrary, love appeases. It removes offenses and injuries. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. It pours water on the fire rather than gasoline. Love causes one to smile at the triumphs of his rival. It does not keep track of grievances.
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others."  (Phil. 2:3-4)  

The keyword here is "humility." It is key to getting along with others.  When one values others, putting their needs above ours, all relationships will prosper: our friends, family, church, and business.  We've also been warned by Christ not to "bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another"  (Gal. 5:15).  To put others first and above our own interests and needs, we must learn to develop the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5ff).  Jesus did not promote Himself but rather "emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men... Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name"  (Phil. 2:7-9).  A life of service will keep our self-worth in the right place and in a proper perspective.  Getting along with others does not mean compromising the purity of the Truth, but it does require humble service (Rom. 12:3, 18).

  • Brotherly love is crucial to peace and unity:  
It is the foundation from which other things grow.  It will manifest itself in longsuffering, kindness, sympathy, compassion, respect, courtesy, gentleness, forgiveness, hospitality, and such.  Jesus said,
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).  

When we stop brotherly love (Heb. 13:1), we allow the world to criticize and put down the Lord's church.  We allow sinners to blaspheme the Lord's church, and we will be held accountable for that.

Sadly, there are many Diotrephes in the church whose primary desire is to have preeminence among all (3 John 9) and hinder brotherly love.  Anyone who gets in their way becomes his enemy.  They even defend themselves as having brotherly love, but we know it is not genuine love (1 Peter 1:22).  Often, this so-called love for the brethren is nothing more than love for power.  It shows a lack of brotherly love.  The church in Corinth (1 Cor. 1:11-12) is described as lacking brotherly love and unity. No wonder chapter 13 talks about love! Their lack of unity and brotherly love led to several severe divisions within the church.  

This letter was written explicitly to heal the many wounds and fractures that arose from such destructive factions and divisions.   Some brethren were impatient, jealous, braggadocious, arrogant, slanderers, etcThey lacked brotherly love.  They exalted themselves to a higher level than others.  Their factions left no room for brotherly love, peace, and unity.  Does this not sound like a familiar problem in the Lord's churches today?  Often, when there is controversy, it comes with great swelling words. But they are empty words!

  • Busybodies:  
"For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies."  (2 Thessalonians 3:11)

Those who are always busy "sowing the seed of the kingdom" will never have time to "sow seeds of discord."  They do not have time to meddle in the affairs of others. Trouble-makers are haters of all men. Those who are busy and productive in the Lord's kingdom have no time to manipulate and control others with their wicked ways. We must not busy ourselves with what does not concern us! 
"But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters."  (I Peter 4:15)

God is clear that we must mind our own business for the sake of His kingdom.
"And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you."  (I Thessalonians 4:11)   

He also wants us to mind His business and not be lazy. He demands that we be productive in His business and not idle.
"Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord."  (Romans 12:11

If we diligently labor for His cause, we will not attempt to run the lives of others. God has a lot for us to accomplish for His kingdom's sake.

  • Anger:   
"A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife."  (Proverbs 15:18)

Anger is a terrible disease of the heart and one of the seeds of discord that can cause us to be contentious. Anger ignites the fire that stirs up strife. On the other hand, he who is slow to anger (meek) will be a great peacemaker. He will prevent strife and quarrels. He unites and reconciles those who are striving against each other.   We, children of God, must not let our passions control us and lead us on the pathway of anger. The kind of man who cannot control his temperament or anger is always under the influence of his wrath. He is constantly destroying whatever he finds in his way. He is a stumbling block to others. 

 "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."  (Proverbs 29:22)  

Anger can only produce the seeds of discord and fury. Anger snares men in cursing, swearing, and profaning God's name. Uncontrolled anger leads to uncontrolled words and fits of rage that lead to divisions that sadly last a lot longer than the wrath itself. 
"For the churning of milk produces butter, and pressing the nose brings forth blood; so the churning of anger produces strife."  (Proverbs 30:3)

We must learn to differentiate between righteous anger and sinful anger.  

  • Righteous Anger:
    1. Righteous anger focuses on God alone and His kingdom, His business, not on ourselves, our own kingdom, our rights, and our concerns. 
    2. Righteous anger focuses on defending God against those who offend God, His name, and His rule. Our primary concern must be that of not offending God. 
    3. Righteous anger is self-controlled. That means it will keep its head above sin, not cursing, screaming, raging, or going out of control. Nor does it cause one to be depressed in self-pity or despair. Nor does it ignore people, snub them or withdraw from them. 

We can find three occasions of righteous anger in Jesus in Mk. 3:1-6; 10:13-16; Jn. 2:13-17.  In the Old Testament, we can also find three cases of righteous anger first in Saul against the Ammonites, I Sam. 11:1-6; then in Jonathan against Saul, I Samuel 20:24-35
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."  (Proverbs 19:11)  

Remember, this is how our Father treats us with all of our shortcomings. He is patient, and I know He has been very patient with you and me!  
    • He wants us to treat others with the same kindness and love. He wants us to extend the same grace freely that He has extended to us. 
    • He is slow to anger, waiting patiently for us to grow, be rooted up in His Word, mature to the stature of His Son, to precious vessels of righteousness for His glory. 
    • He is patiently helping us walk our Christian walk, but often we must turn the other cheek.
    • Thus, we must follow the Golden Rule if we are His children.
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."  (Matt. 7:12) 

"Above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covereth a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8)

As we love others, we will overlook their sins against us. What that means is that we are not going to get offended, grumble or complain. Instead, we are going to love and pray for them. This is how love covers a multitude of sins. Now, do not get me wrong.  When I say, "overlook their sins," I do not mean indulge the sin. When we see a brother or sister in willful sin, why not use the protocol our Lord Jesus used?   
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.  But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."   (Matthew 18:15-17)  

But when a member of the body of Christ is sinning willfully against God and His church, we must bring it to his/her attention and follow the steps given above by our Lord.  
 "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.  Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted."  (Galatians 6:1) 

We must exercise and maintain self-control over anger in our lives. We must not let our anger control us, for we must get rid of it as soon as possible; otherwise, we will sin against our God! Self-control will keep us from becoming angry and acting sinfully.    
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Eph. 4:26)
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."  (Prov. 19:11)

We must learn to listen first before we jump to conclusions.  Sadly, many say things in a moment of anger that they will surely regret later. They should have walked away and said nothing.  Our uncontrolled tongues makes us useless and makes us lose our positive influence over those around us.  The tongue is definitely one of those things that we must exercise self-control over.  We must also exercise self-control over our emotions (anger, resentment, self-pity, and bitterness).  We must refrain from allowing these feelings to simmer over a long period of time.  Anger and rage often result from feeling that we have been mistreated or have suffered unjustly.  So we turn around and harm (hurt) others since we have been hurt.  Self-pity and bitterness come from the same feeling, for we think people are not paying the attention we deserve.  We harm others with our emotions and destroy ourselves, warping our sense of what is right and fair.

  • Envy: 
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."  (Proverbs 14:30)

This terrible disease of the heart is also a seed of discord that can come as a consequence of two things: 
  1. Lack of contentment.
  2. Lack of love.  

When we envy, we are not content with what God provides and has done for us.  So we are dissatisfied all the time.  Due to our lack of contentment, we envy or covet what others have. Envy is a powerful and destructive sin! Envy among brethren leads us to refuse to submit to those in leadership, such as elders. Why?  Because if you demand that all things be done your way, you will have a hard time submitting to those who indeed have that responsibility. 

There are many negative facets to envy. 
  1. Envy is not just desiring what the other person has.  
  2. It is not just being resentful toward those who have blessings that you don't.  
  3. Envy does not want the other person to be blessed. 
  4. Envy is the root cause of many other sins, such as adultery, stealing, slander, hatred, and murder. Pride is the cause of this seed of discord or disease of the heart.

We see this terrible sin of envy in the Bible with appalling consequences. 
  • Aaron and Miriam:
They envied Moses because of the position God had given him. 
"And they said, ;Has the LORD indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?' And the LORD heard it."'  (Numbers 12:2)

  • Korah, Dathan, Abiram:
And some of their friends envied the high priestly status that the  LORD had given Aaron.  
"When men in the camp were jealous of Moses and Aaron, the holy one of the LORD."  (Psalm 106:16

  • Saul toward David: 
David's many accomplishments in battle, his victory over Goliath, and all of Israel's approval toward him awoke this sin of envy in the heart of Saul. Saul’s envy produced the seeds of many other evils. Remember, he tried to kill David many times. Envy was the cause of his anger, jealousy, paranoia, and murderous intent toward David.  Because of his envy, Saul ruined the rest of his life. His envy toward David disturbed him so much that he became obsessed with attempting to kill David. Envy causes striking and decisive actions. It is the first step in the damaging sins of slander, gossip, fighting, and murder.

  • The Jews:
Because of this terrible sin, the Jews delivered Jesus into the hands of evil men, Mt. 27:18. Following the same pattern of envy, a later group of Jews expelled Paul and Barnabas from Antioch of Pisidia, Acts 13:45, 50.  

  • The Corinthians:
Because of envy, the Corinthian brethren divided.  
"But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, 3 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 4 For when one says, 'I follow Paul,' and another, 'I follow Apollos,' are you not being merely human?'"  (I Cor. 3:1-4)  

  • Some even preached Christ out of envy to add affliction to Paul's chains:
"Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel."  (Phil. 1:15-16)

Sadly, we are often guilty of this seed of discord.  And it must not be so!  We must examine our hearts and purge our envy. Those who call themselves children of God must not behave this way. 
 "For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.  But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life."  (Titus 3:3-7)

Envy is a fruit of the flesh, Galatians 5:19-21. It is demonic, James 3:14-15.  My question is, Why do people envy?  We can suggest several more things:   
  1. ImmaturityGen. 37:3-4
  2. EgoDaniel 6:4  
  3. InsecurityI Samuel 18:7-9
  4. GreedEcclesiastes 4:4
  5. FrustrationPsalm 73:3  

Envy is an issue of the heart. Jesus said, 
"It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man."   (Matthew 15:11

Also, in Proverbs, we find the same sentiment Jesus expressed.
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life."  (Proverbs 4:23)

The heart is the starting point of this seed of discord. Sadly, envy will determine our paths on our life’s journey. The remedy for this seed of discord is to always guard our hearts against such works of the flesh with all vigilance.

  • Pride or Desire for Preeminence:  
"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.  Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 2:3-5)
    • The root cause of discord is lack of humility: 
Lack of humility renders us selfish and vain rather than meek and lowly in heart. It is pride that provokes us to impress others rather than humbly thinking of others as better than ourselves. We must learn not to make our own interests the only focus in life but rather regard the interests of others, their feelings, and wishes. We must hold others in high esteem if we are Christians indeed. To overcome this big sin, we must have the mind of Christ. That means we must behave like Christ in our love, thoughts, desires, and motives. This is the heart of Christ in us: the image of Christ in us and we in Him as He abides in us through His Word, having fellowship with one another.
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."  (Proverbs 11:2)

Few things break our hearts more quickly than pride. Someone you love will enter a disastrous situation because their pride has been inflamed, and there is nothing you can do about it. Jesus came to a proud world bent on self-destruction. Even the righteous disciples were easily provoked individually by their pride. Jesus, the meek and lowly, showed them a better way. 

Anger and pride are a pair of sins that go hand in hand.  The source of pride is ego.  It is one of those works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21).  It is deceitful and dangerous.  Pride deceives many by leading them to rationalize their behavior and justify themselves.  A big problem with pride is that it reduces us to nothing, causing us to lose our love for God and others.  Pride sows to the flesh, not the Spirit (Gal. 6:7-8).  It will eventually destroy us if it goes unchecked.

The word "pride" is found six times in the book of Proverbs.  Likewise, the word “proud” is found seven times in the same book.  For instance, we see the word “haughty” three times in the same book.  The word “arrogance” is found once.  The word “conceit” is found five times.  Several passages speak of pride without mentioning the above terms.

Pride is an overestimation, elevation of self.  It overestimates one's worth.  It is a conceited sense of one's superiority.  A proud man is truly a legend in his own mind!
“Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for him”  (Proverbs 26:12).  

Now stop for a moment and reflect on this Scripture.  What is man?  He is the work of God.  
“Know that the Lord, he is God!  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture”  (Psalm 100:3).  

 God created us from the dust of the earth (Gen. 3:19; Eccl. 12:7).  

  1. We are not as smart as we think we are (Matt. 10:30).  
  2. We are not as strong as we think (Job 38:34-35).  
  3. Ultimately, it is appointed for every man to die, and after that comes judgment (Eccl. 12:7; Heb. 9:27).
"And when the Philistine looked and saw David, he disdained him, for he was but a youth, ruddy and handsome in appearance. 43 And the Philistine said to David, 'Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?' And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. 44 The Philistine said to David, 'Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.' 45 Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand.'"  (1 Samuel 17:42-47)

Here we see Goliath as a champion on the battlefield.  His pride was as enormous as his physical appearance.  He could have destroyed David on any other battlefield, but this one was not ordinary. You see, God gave victory to the humble one who trusted in Him rather than himself. Goliath's problem was his fatal pride (Proverbs 16:18).
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom”  (Prov. 11:2).

“Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished”  (Prov. 16:5).
“One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor”  (Prov. 29:23).
    • Pride causes us to lose our compassion toward others: 
We no longer care.  Pride causes one to take from others, even those experiencing adversity or calamity.  We have no right to take from others or rejoice because of their adversities, even when we have been mistreated!  It is evil!  Pride also causes one to show no regard for the well-being of others.  We rid ourselves of pride when we honor and are thankful to God for all things in all circumstances.   It is our best weapon against pride.

    • Pride is the greatest enemy of repentance:  
Repentance is vital to Christians and non-Christians (1 John 1:8, Prov. 16:18). Indeed, pride is the major stumbling block to repentance.  Why?  Because he who is proud finds it difficult to admit when he is wrong or needs to repent from sin.

Many Christians have fallen from Grace because they have allowed their pride to interfere with their repentance (Gal. 5:4).  So often when we persuade one living in sin to repent (change his sinful ways), he resents us.  He says, “Who do you think you are, telling me how to live my life?”  “I have nothing to repent of.”  “I know what I'm doing. I am in control.”  “I make my own decisions.”  

Sadly, this person's pride has blinded him to repentance.  One good example of this is the alcoholic. He often denies that he is an alcoholic.  He may even feel insulted that one would dare to point out his sin and need to repent.

The Pharisees were very proud.  They often confronted Jesus with arrogance and would not receive His teachings.  When Jesus found them in the Temple selling animals and changing money, He drove them out, overturning the tables (Matt. 21:13).  This apparently enraged them (the scribes and chief priests), and they sought to kill Him.  Pride was their number one problem.  They were too proud to admit that they were wrong in using the Temple in such a shameful way.  Their pride blinded them to accept that they had sinned against God and that the Temple was desecrated.  So what did they do? They felt rage instead of feeling shame.  Sadly, many die in that state.  Their inflated ego prevents them from acknowledging their sins, faults, and shortcomings (James 5:16).  

Pride also steps in the way of the “one another” part of admonition.  Why is it so hard to humbly admit that you have sinned or done wrong and need to repent and ask forgiveness of God and the one you have wronged?!  We must be at peace with God and all men, but that demands that you be humble and not proud.  God abhors the proud. Who wants to be around a proud and arrogant person?  Do you?  I don't!!  Your salvation depends on it!

In James 4:10, we have been admonished to humble ourselves before God so that He may exalt us. James is speaking concerning pride.  Pride is the root of many of our failings and weaknesses.  Pride is the cause of failing to live a godly life.
“Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who can save and destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?”  (James 4:11-12)  

James says that when we speak evil or judge another (not with righteous judgment), we speak evil against the law and judge the law.  To speak evil against one another is to speak evil against God's Law!  Why?  Because with our negative attitude of heart, we ignore God's commands or laws, like the law to love our neighbor.  James calls this “the royal law.”  When one loves his neighbor as himself, he is doing well (James 2:8).  It is impossible to love someone and, at the same time, slander him.  In doing this, we are breaking the royal law, the Law of GodWe are in the place of God and sitting in the judgment seat of God's Law!  When we break God's Law, we refuse to be under God's laws.  Bear in mind that there is only One Lawgiver and JudgeAnd it is not you or me! He is God!  He is the only One who can dictate law and judge the law.  Take heed!
“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?”  (James 4:12)  

Often we have the nerve to judge God's Law and question His commands (laws) rather than to humbly submit to them.  
    1. So, who are you to judge your neighbor?  
    2. Who do you think you are?  
    3. What makes you better or greater than others?  
    4. Who gives you the right to judge or criticize someone else?  
It is easier to criticize others than to be a doer of the Law.  It is easier to throw stones at others who are doing the Lord's work.  Often we delude ourselves into thinking that we are the doers and the others are just the hearers.  
    1. Do you suppose you are a doer of God's Law when you speak evil of another?!  Right?  
    2. Do you think that when you slander someone, you are keeping God's Law?  
You are not a doer!  You are not the Judge!  You are usurping the Lawgiver and Judge.  You are not keeping quiet and obeying God's laws or commands.  You are proud and foolish when you speak evil of others, forgetting your place before the Judge.  Take heed, and stop being proud!

    • Pride delights in boasting:
An excellent example of boasting is the Pharisee, who stood at the Temple and prayed, saying, 
“God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get”  (Matt. 18:11-12).  

He was so blindly proud that he could only see the tax collector's wrongs and failings but not his own.  Notice what Jesus said of the Pharisees,
“But they do all their deeds to be noticed (seen) by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. 6 They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues,7 and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men”  (Matt. 23:5-7).  

You see, pride destroys humility!

A person full of pride thinks highly of himself and boasts of his achievements.  He wants to be noticed and is self-absorbed in his pride.  He ignores what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.  2 'So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full'"  (Matt. 6:1-2).  

The key phrase is "to be noticed by them (men)."  Pride delights in being in the spotlight and being the star of the show!  We cannot be of any use to the Lord until we willfully surrender our pride and prideful ways.

    • Pride causes us to look down on others:
In the Old Testament, Moses asked Pharaoh, the great ruler of Egypt, to let the children of Israel go to hold a religious feast to God in the wilderness.  Pharaoh's response was,
“Who is the LORD that I should obey His voice to let Israel go?  I do not know the LORD, nor will I let Israel go.”  

Here we see a man full of pride.  Pharaoh looked down on Moses and even God Himself.  He would not humble or submit to God because of his pride.  Each time Moses appeared before him, he showed contempt, insolence, and arrogance.  Not even the plagues that God brought on the Egyptians changed his arrogant heartHe was a proud and arrogant man who preferred to suffer rather than submit to God's command.

    • Pride destroys relationships with others:
“By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom”  (Prov. 13:10).
“He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat”  (Prov. 28:25).

As followers of Christ, we strive for unity, peace, and happiness in our relationships.  Unfortunately, pride destroys all these things Why?  Because pride prevents an honest discussion of the issues of disagreement between two persons.  
    1. Pride attacks the character of others rather than focusing on their problems and differences.  
    2. Pride's primary goal is to divide people and reduce them to hostility.  
    3. Pride will not allow anyone to say the words:  “I am wrong, or I was wrong.”  “I am sorry. Please forgive me for what I have done.”  “I forgive you.”  

  • Pride destroys one's relationship (fellowship) with God:
“A haughty look, a proud heart, And the plowing of the wicked are sin”  (Prov. 21:4).

“These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:  17 A proud look... “  (Prov. 6:16-17)

Pride is an abomination to God.  Why?  Because its motives and actions are lawless, and lawlessness is a sin against the Word of God (1 John 3:4).  God demands humility and that we walk humbly with Him.  To be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, one must be humble.  For God to exalt us, we must be humble before Him.  God demands that His children clothe themselves with humility toward Him and one another because"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (Mic. 6:8; Matt. 18:4; James 4:10; 1 Peter 5:5-6).  He demands that we not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think “but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Rom. 12:3).  

The Word of God also exhorts us to have the mind of Christ.
“Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross”  (Phil. 2:5-8).  

Pride is of Satan, and we must be careful not to fall under condemnation (1 Tim. 3:6).

God hates pride.  He is disgusted when He sees pride in men.  A proud man thinks he knows better than the all-wise God of heaven (1 Cor. 1:20).  A proud man believes he is self-sufficient and does not need God (Luke 12:16-21).  Pride is the soil in which all other sins grow and flourish.  God will punish the proud, and His wrath will go against them.  He will not allow anything unclean (sin) to enter the gates of heaven (Rev. 21:27).  

So if you are struggling with pride or arrogance, beware that there is more hope for a fool than for you!  Start diligently humbling yourself under the mighty hands of God, that He may exalt you.  Remember, "It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud”  (Prov. 16:19).   
    1. So, where do you stand before God?  
    2. Are you living in pride or arrogance, thinking there will be no Judgment Day?  
    3. Are you too proud to admit your faults or sins?  
    4. Are you too proud to humbly ask forgiveness?   
    5. Are you too proud to say “I am sorry” when you are wrong?  
    6. Are you too proud to speak to and associate with certain brethren?  
    7. Are you too proud to associate with those who are below you?  
    8. Are you too proud to forgive those who sin against you?  
    9. Are you too proud to teach the Gospel to the lost, the homosexual, the alcoholic, the prostitute, or those who practice lawlessness? 
    10. Is pride taking control over your life? 

Be honest and answer those questions and repent accordingly!

  •  Those Who Divide Brethren:
    • God has not been silent on this matter:  

God has repeatedly warned His children about sowing discord, strife, quarrels, hatred, and contention among brethren (Prov. 16:28; 6:12, 14; 6:16,19; 10:12; 26:26; 20:3; 13:10; 17:14, 19; 26:21; 28:25).  Our godless culture loves to manufacture and provoke endless controversy, argument, and divisive issues.  Men take pleasure in starting strife and stirring the pot.  Even when we teach the Gospel in all gentleness (2 Tim. 2:24) and love (Eph. 4:15), it is still received with overwhelming disagreement and vituperation.  

Sadly, there is division instead of love and unity among brethren.  Instead of fighting and devouring one another with divisive quarrels, why not work out our differences to further the Gospel and save the souls of many who may be traveling the path of eternal tragedy?!  Jesus condemned the Pharisees for neglecting the weightier matters of the Law:  justice, mercy, righteousness, and faithfulness.  They focused on minor and trivial matters (Matt. 23:23).  We must be the salt of the earth and help build up God's kingdom of righteousness through evangelism, edification, and benevolence for the saints.  We must pray to God for wisdom to be builders and not brawlers (John 6:27, “labor for the food that endures to eternal life”).

    • Division in the Lord's church is a terrible crime:  

Those guilty of sowing discord, conflict, controversy, and division will be abhorred and rejected by God (Prov. 6:16-19).  God has always wanted His children to get along and be united (Psalm 133:1; John 17:21; 1 Cor. 1:10).  God is not the author of confusion and division (1 Cor. 14:33).  Division results when men cease to walk in the Light and choose to walk in darkness (1 John 1:7).  Disrespect for all divine authority causes division among men (Matt. 28:18-20; Eph. 5:24).  Envy, jealousy, greed, and carnality cause division (Acts 20:30; 2 Peter 2:3; 1 Cor. 3:3-4).  Many souls are lost when there is division.  

Since many refuse to walk in the Light, they cannot have communion with Christ.  His blood cannot cleanse them from their sins (1 John 1:7).  All division is of the flesh and results in death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace (1 Cor. 3:3; Rom. 8:6).  Indeed, the church is crippled when there is division and strife.  Those who belittle all divine authority cause division because they lack love for God, His Word, and His church.  

Division, strife, and conflict have always been around.  The church the Lord purchased with His own blood, has not been immune to this.  Just look around and notice the religious confusion today.  Although Jesus established only one church (Matt. 16:18; Eph. 4:4; 1:22-23), man has created many today, and all this because of division, strife, and disagreement.  This religious confusion has brought such change since the earliest times when the church of Christ was built. It continues until today when hundreds of churches started as the product of selfishness.  How?  Men and women wanting to do and have things their own way without respecting the authority and Lordship of Christ.  So, when they didn't get things done their way, they left their original group to start a new one.  Does that sound familiar?  We still have this problem today!  

Everyone seems to be drifting like sheep whenever someone disagrees with them or they don't like the way things are done in the church.  Often these have conflicts with others over personal matters.  Instead of solving them the way Jesus demands, they leave and start a new group.  We forget that since the beginning of the church, there has always been only one church whose followers were merely Christians striving to do the will of their Father.  Jesus prayed for unity among all Christians (John 17:20-21).

The apostle Paul also prayed and preached that there be no divisions but that all Christians should be of the same mind and judgment in Christ (1 Cor. 1:10).  Unfortunately, nothing has changed, and there are still divisions among the followers of Christ.  And why?  Because men refuse to firmly follow Jesus and His apostles' teachings.  Little by little, men begin thwarting God's plan for the church and bringing in new ideas and changes that God did not authorize.  That's exactly where all religious error begins.  Man rejects what God has authorized in the New Testament, choosing to please himself in whatever form of religion, doing whatever he wants in worship.  As a result, conflicts arise, division results, and thus many of today's denominations were born and continue to emerge.   

Man's selfishness and desires to please himself have been the cause of today's religious confusion and the formation of many churches instead of one true church.  And though we all have the same Bible and Gospel that can be understood clearly, there is a lot of chaos and confusion.  There can never be any unity unless all men abandon their selfish desires and wrong and sinful practices and start doing God’s will.  

The Lord's church has suffered tremendously because of the many conflicts and selfish desires of stubborn men (in many cases, one or two men).  This ought not to be!  We must learn to submit to one another with love in matters of indifference.  We must learn to get along and work out our differences in the spirit of love!  God demands that we walk in the Light as He is in the Light to have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7).  That we agree with one another and have the same mind and judgment (1 Cor. 1:10).  Finally, that we speak the same thing as the oracles of God (1 Peter 4:11).  You can rest assured this will avoid all strife and unnecessary conflict! I don't see any other way for unity!!

Therefore, we must lay aside all prejudices, and stop behaving like children (1 Cor. 14:20; Eph. 4:13). We must strive to show tolerance, humility, and patience for one another in love.  We must be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace  (Eph. 4:1-6).

  • Conflicts Are Costly:

We have already seen the devastating consequences of conflict and disagreements among Christians and the refusal to submit to one another in the fear of the Lord.  Somehow, many followers of Christ believe that since we're all Christians, follow the Word of God and obey the command to love one another, there will be no conflicts among us.  It is pure idealism and is not realistic!  We have already read the letter to the Philippians in chapter 4 that the church was made up of people from various backgroundsLydia was a businesswoman from Asia with a Jewish background.  We also read of two women in that church that had conflicts and differences.  As one reads what Paul is writing in this letter, he will immediately notice that Christians must learn to get along with one another.  We must get along, not only to be at peace with each other but for the sake of the GospelChristians must learn to resolve and work out all differences and conflicts among themselves.  Refusing to resolve conflicts among us will be costly to the welfare of the church.  Conflict will indeed harm the Lord's work in each individual church.

In the letter to the Philippians, it is interesting that Paul does not point out who is right and wrong.  He merely pleads with them to agree with each other in the Lord.  It is pretty evident that they were to work out their conflicts for the sake of the Lord.  When Christians fight and quarrel with each other, many terrible things happen as a consequence.  Consider them.

    1. The Lord's reputation is harmed.
    2. The Lord's work (the work of each church to further the Gospel) is hampered.
    3. The body of Christ is hindered and thus is handicapped.
    4. All peace (personal) is disturbed.
    5. Conflict takes away love and moves us further from the heart of God.

  • Patiently Teaching Them:   
"The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will."  (2 Timothy 2:24-26) 

Christians are commanded to be peacemakers.  A servant of Christ is not contentious. Christ is not contentious. We must be kind and gentle even when correcting our opponents. We must not get angry or irritated with them. We must not humiliate them publicly but correct them patiently, instructing them in the Truth. Our goal is to reach them and show them the Truth patiently and calmly. 
    • If they are irritated or angry, we must not be. 
    • If they oppose the Truth, we must still show it to them calmly. 
    • If they are slow to see it, we are not to become weary or impatient. 
    • Even if they do not embrace it, we must not become angry with them and denounce them. We may feel sorry for them because they don't have eyes to see the Truth, but we must not insult or humiliate them or use harsh words with them. This counsel is not just acceptable but also wise. It will render us more effective.

How will we convince those who oppose the Truth of their error if we have the wrong attitude and enter into harsh and ugly contentions?  They will not yield to the Truth easily if we make it more difficult with our harsh attitude.  Meekness and gentleness are vital keys to convincing them that they are wrong.  After all we have done to teach and correct them, we can never be sure they will see their error or wrongdoing.  Much depends upon their seeking heart and willingness to repent and accept the Truth.

We must keep the little things from becoming the major ones.
"For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil."  (Romans 14:15-16)  

We must focus on the weightier matters of God's will rather than be distracted by trivial worries and concerns.
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others."  (Matthew 23:23)  

Let us meditate on this!  Let us focus on those things that really matter: those that give us salvation. 
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."'  (Matthew 5:43-45)

We must love even when not loved in return.  We must love even the troublemakers.  Sadly, the church must take drastic measures against those who persist in causing division among brethren.  Those who cause division must be stopped!  We must mark them and stop associating with them, for they're a stumbling block to the church.   
"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them that are causing the divisions and occasions of stumbling, contrary to the doctrine which ye learned: and turn away from them."  (Romans 16:17


Our main goal must be striving to be people builders in our relationships with others.  What does that mean?

Let us meditate on Paul's words.
"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."  (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Do you know that when we talk about others, we harm them with our words? So why say harmful things?  Be discrete and say what is necessary and needed for edification.  
  • Let us speak words that will help them become stronger Christians. 
  • Let us not grow bitter and angry. 
  • Let us not shout angrily. 
  • Let us not say things that hurt another that we will soon regret and repent of. 
  • Why not be kind and loving to each other? 
  • Why not forgive each other as God forgave us through His Son?  
  • Let us encourage others with our words.  
  • Let us inspire others with well-seasoned words. 

You might be surprised how your words of encouragement toward someone else might change their lives for good!

Remember always that you could be the only person to provide an encouraging word that someone needs to hear.  Let us purpose in our hearts to always give an encouraging word. Let us labor intensely to build one another up within the body of Christ.

So often, brethren are like coals of fire. It is in clinging together that we will keep the flame burning. If we separate from one another, the flame of our zeal dies. We should not!  We must not!  We cannot allow the precious church our Lord purchased with His own blood to suffer division!


My heart is broken over beloved brethren stumbling into oblivion because of conflicts over personal matters and matters of judgment. Such matters ought not to destroy our love for one another, nor should they quench the zeal of our faith. Churches are broken up and splintered. Sometimes they do not survive. I began this study in the hopes of finding some divine help. The Lord is, of course, infinitely wiser than we are. He knows us so well. If we would just be true and faithful to Him and His counsel, we would find joy in "the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace." 

In James 3:13-18, we learn that earthly wisdom is self-seeking and lacks meekness.  On the other hand, heavenly wisdom shows kindness toward others and good works.  In chapter 4, we see the consequences when one is led by earthly wisdom.  This chapter starts by saying, 
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?"  

In this Scripture, James talks about strife and quarreling and the origin or source of verbal conflicts and arguments among us.  Notice how he answers this question with another question.  
"Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?"  (4:1 

You see, bickering and quarreling originate in our physical desire for pleasure, that is, getting and having things our way!  The truth is that selfishness is the cause of all conflicts.  Although the word "selfishness" is not in this verse, the concept definitely is.  When someone desires to have something, they will try to get it at any cost; thus, conflict is unavoidable.  There will be conflict unless everyone surrenders to that person's desires.  Indeed, this is a powerful truth!

In Acts 6:7, we notice that the church grew in number.  She multiplied because the saints were working together in harmony to resolve their conflicts.  The Gospel would have never spread the way it did were it not for the continuing effort of the apostles and the brethren to look out to their community to save souls.  These brethren were more concerned about spreading the Gospel and being the light to a world of darkness than winning quarrels.  Can you grasp the intensity of that?  You should!  So why not act more like Christ and be the light of this world when problems, conflicts, and arguments arise in the church?  

Remember, we have been given the Gospel to impact this world of darkness and bring it to repentance so that they might be saved from the wrath of God. Let this sink deeply into your hearts! We must be mindful of how we treat one another when problems or conflicts ariseWe must always be like Christ, strive to look for solutions, and surrender our rights for the sake of harmony or unity.  Remember, we can remain sound in the doctrine of Christ without pushing our liberties on others.  May the Lord help us all to live like Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

The spirit of unity in a church is only manifest when all members work, share, and serve together in the Gospel.  All members must desire to share in the work of the church.  Likewise, all members must want to serve one another.  Attitudes and proper conduct are vital for the church to practice unity and peace.  Many churches have been destroyed through division and strife among members because they refused to work for unity.  Sadly, some brethren cannot even worship together any longer.  It is tragic!  

Jesus prayed for unity (John 17:20-21).  When the church began in Jerusalem, the disciples were praised for having unity (Acts 5:12).  Peace and unity can only be accomplished when all Christians are the salt of the earth (Mark 9:50).  That is, each member is committed to the Truth, work and serve one another with patience, forbearance, and love for one another.  Love promotes peace and unity because it compels us to treat one another as God demands.  Can there be unity when all members must have their own way and pursue their selfish interests?  Nothing is more tragic for a local church than for its members to be selfish and self-centered.  It will destroy all unity in the church.

The Lord has admonished us, saying, 
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others."  (Phil. 2:3-4)  

The keyword here is "humility." It is key to getting along with others.  When one values others, putting their needs above ours, all relationships will prosper:  our friends, family, church, and business.  We've also been warned by Christ not to "bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another"  (Gal. 5:15).  To put others first and put them above our own interests and needs, we must learn to develop the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5ff).  Jesus did not promote Himself but rather "emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men... Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name."  (Phil. 2:7-9).  A life of service will keep our self-worth in the right place and in proper perspective.  Getting along with others does not mean compromising the purity of the Truth, but it does require humble servitude (Rom. 12:3, 18).

Brotherly love is crucial to peace and unity.  It is the foundation from which other things grow.  It will manifest itself in longsuffering, kindness, sympathy, compassion, respect, courtesy, gentleness, forgiveness, hospitality, and such.  Jesus said, 
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."  (John 13:35

When we stop brotherly love (Heb. 13:1), we allow the world to criticize and put down the Lord's church.  We allow sinners to blaspheme the Lord's church, and we will be held accountable for that.

Sadly, there are many Diotrephes in the church whose primary desire is to have preeminence (3 John 9), which hinders brotherly love Anyone who gets in their way becomes their enemy.  They even defend themselves as having brotherly love, but we know it is not genuine love (1 Peter 1:22).  Often, this so-called love for the brethren is nothing more than love for power.  It shows a lack of brotherly love.  

My brethren, these things ought not to be so!! Every time there are quarrels among brethren, many souls are affected, and God is not well pleased.  It is sad that brethren have carried hard feelings for many years without finding a solution!  Things get in the way, leaving their injuries to fester to the extreme.  

We have been encouraged by the Master of love to love one another and keep all things from getting nasty.  Remember, that discord reflects upon the Lord and His church, which He purchased with His own blood.  Wouldn't it be tragic if the Lord returned and found us with such disunity among ourselves?!  The church cannot prosper and grow when there is division, strife, quarrels, and discord.

Therefore, let us bring all of the inadequate and handicapped lives together.  Let us reconcile them to the rest of the family of Christ.  And let us pull together!
"Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel."  (Philippians 1:27

Let us not fall into the snares of Satan that destroy the church, sowing seeds of discord among us. This is one of Satan's number one tactics for tearing down the church. And let us use all of the weapons that God has given us to build His church.  Let us take to heart these precious words.
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."   (I Cor. 13:4-8)
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  (Phil. 4:8)
"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill?  He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes up a reproach against his friend."  (Psalm 15:1-3)

Jesus said, 
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matt. 5:9).

 Let us be peacemakers and keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  

May we never be among those who sow discord, but rather may we be of one accord!  

May our Lord help us resolve our differences and conflicts kindly without quarreling so that we may please Him.  May we love each other amid our differences.  May we edify one another rather than destroy each other.  May we walk worthy of our Lord and His Gospel with all humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and brotherly love.  May we bear with one another in love and maintain the unity of the Spirit as we have been called. May we grant the same grace that has been given to each of us, according to the measure of Christ's gift. Finally, may the Lord help us to walk together as the family of Christ so that we might reach Heaven as our home.

I want leave you with the sentiments of our sacred song, "Blest Be the Tie that Binds," to meditate on.  Our beautiful song talks about our love and fellowship with one another in the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Our Father in Heaven wants His children to be knit together by the tie, which binds just as threads are knit together.  One of the greatest blessings we Christians have here on earth is our fellowship and association with one another to encourage and prepare us for heaven.  Our song beautifully pictures the blessings of such a relationship which must be  based on brotherly love as it says, "Blest Be The Tie That Binds."

"That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ." (Col. 2:2)  

Blest be the tie that binds Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one, Our comforts and our cares.

We share our mutual woes, Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part, It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart, And hope to meet again.

From sorrow, toil, and pain, And sin, we shall be free;
And perfect love and friendship reign Through all eternity.