"I exhort Euodia, and I exhort Syntyche, to be of the same mind in the Lord." (Phil. 4:2)
- They are worthless and wicked:
"A worthless person, a wicked man... he devises evil continually, he sows discord" (Prov. 6:12, 14).
- They are an abomination to God:
"These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him... one who sows discord among brethren" (Prov. 6:16-19).
- They are perverse:
"A perverse man sows strife" (Prov. 16:28).
- They are a stumbling block:
"And he said unto his disciples, It is impossible but that occasions of stumbling should come; but woe unto him, through whom they come! 2 It were well for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, rather than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble" (Luke 17:1-2).
- They are focused on foolish and ignorant things:
"But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife" (2 Tim. 2:23).
- They are earthly, sensual, and demonic:
"Who is wise and understanding among you? let him show by his good life his works in meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter jealousy and faction in your heart, glory not and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not a wisdom that cometh down from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where jealousy and faction are, there is confusion and every vile deed. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without variance, without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for them that make peace" (James 3:13-18).
- They want to rule and be in charge:
"I wrote the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us" (3 John 9).
- They will go to hell:
"Now the works of the flesh are obvious... hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy... I tell you about these things in advance—as I told you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God" (Gal. 5:19-21).
- Those who divide must be marked and avoided:
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them" (Rom. 16:17)."Throw out the mocker and strife departs, too; furthermore, quarrels and discord will end" (Prov. 22:10).
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1)
"I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me." (John 17:20-21)
Let us keep in mind that sowing strife is not the same as standing up for the Truth. Sometimes if we stand up for what is right, there will be strife. In these cases, the problem is on the back of the one who chooses to oppose what is right. "Sowing strife" is another way of saying "causing unnecessary trouble" or being a "trouble-maker." Those who sow discord are like a plague, and God says they must be stopped. God wants His children to worship in a healthy manner and have healthy spiritual lives. God wants us to have good spiritual health.
"Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment." (I Corinthians 1:10)
"Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:3)
"He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it." (I Peter 3:1)
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing." (James 3:16)
It miserably robs us of that peace and harmony we need so much.
"There are six things which Jehovah hateth; Yea, seven which are an abomination unto him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood; A heart that deviseth wicked purposes, Feet that are swift in running to mischief, A false witness that uttereth lies, And he that soweth discord among brethren." (Proverbs 6:16-19)
This is not the character of God in us, and God disapproves of it. It is serious because it divides us and makes us unlike God. It robs us of our faith and hope. We must stay away from those who sow discord because they cause severe damage to the body of Christ. They are selfish, for they're serving their own appetites, not the Lord. They need to walk the narrow way. They deceive with empty and shallow words, taking many innocent souls captive.
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive." (Romans 16:17-18)
"Planning evil with a perverse mind, continually stirring up discord." (Prov. 6:14)
"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." (Prov. 10:12)
Sowing discord is in the same company as sins such as arrogance, lying, murder, and perjury.
- Evil Pleasures, Fleshly (Lust), and Worldliness:
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." (James 4:1-3)
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?"
"Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?" (James 4:1)
Worldly wisdom leads to fighting and quarreling (James 4:1).
- We quarrel and fight because of pride, malice, covetousness, ambition, and revenge.
- Setting our hearts, minds, and souls on earthly pleasures weakens us and divides us.
- They are slaves to their passions (evil pleasures, lust, and worldliness).
- They hunger and thirst for them.
- Their passions are at war within themselves.
- So they have "wars and fights" among themselves.
"Who is wise and understanding among you?"
Often we blame others when there is strife. We blame those whose actions hurt us. But that is not James' answer! James clearly states that the problem resides within us! Each one of us is guilty! Why?
- Because battles and fights often spring from our selfish hearts, the desires to please our flesh.
- Because we choose to reject the wisdom of God for the wisdom of the world.
- When we allow the wisdom of God to rule our hearts and mind, the result will be peace, gentleness, openness to reason, the fullness of mercy, and the bearing of good fruits (James 3:17-18).
We desire and do not have, so we murder. We fight and quarrel because we covet and cannot obtain what we want. The problem is a self-centered heart and mind. Notice the parallels between "desire and do not have" with "covet and cannot obtain." Also, "murder" parallels "fight and quarrel." James is revealing the malice and animosity among themselves. In Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus declared that hating our brother was a sin, just like murder.
James explains two reasons why they do not have.
- First, they do not have because they do not ask.
- The second problem is that they were asking “wrongly,” though they were asking God.
- Unrighteous and Godless Judgment:
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-5)
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37)
"The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son." (John 5:22)
"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself." (I Corinthians 4:3)
"Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God." (I Corinthians 4:5)
All this being said about not judging, let us look at some other passages that point in the other direction: that we should judge:
"Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." (John 7:24)
"For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?" (I Corinthians 5:12)
"Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life?" (I Corinthians 6:3)
- How does one judge righteous judgment rather than godless judgment?
- Should we judge at all?
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."'
- So, is it right to teach that we Christians should never make any judgment about others?
- Is that what Jesus implied?
- How does one judge righteous judgment rather than godless judgment?
- Does He want us to keep silent, do nothing, and make no judgments when others are doing wrong and walking in rebellion?
- Must we not rebuke sin?
- Is it wrong to correct sin?
"Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment."
- "Judge not, that you be not judged." (Matthew 7:1)
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one." (1 Corinthians 2:15)
- "For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside" (1 Corinthians 5:12–13).
- "But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed" (Galatians 1:8).
- "Beloved, do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1).
- "But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned" (Galatians 2:11).
- "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15).
- "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment" (John 7:24).
- "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:15–16).
- "Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him" (Luke 17:3).
- "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them" (Ephesians 5:11).
- "Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths" (2 Tim. 2-4).
- "He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. 10 For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. 11 They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. 12 One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” 13 This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, 14 not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth" (Titus 1:9-14).
- “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).
- "As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear" (1 Tim. 5:20).
- "And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all" (1 Thess. 5:14).
- "As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him" (Titus 3:10).
- "Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you" (Titus 2:15).
- "But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned" (Gal. 2:11).
- "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted" (Gal. 6:1).
- "Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue" (Prov. 28:23).
- "Whoever says to the wicked, “You are in the right,” will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations, 25 but those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, and a good blessing will come upon them" (Prov. 24:24-25).
- The reason not to judge: (Matthew 7:2-4)
"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?"
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?"
- Jesus uses the example of someone who eagerly wants to see and point out everyone else’s faults but cannot see his own.
- Jesus is trying to make us see and understand that the person who cannot see his own faults and shortcomings will not judge others fairly.
- The reason is that we fail to examine ourselves and take a good look at ourselves in the mirror of Jesus Christ.
- We are so focused on looking at the faults, flaws, failures, problems, and issues of others that we fail to see our own enormous failures and the glaring shortcomings in our lives.
- How easy it is to judge others but refuse to judge or examine ourselves by the same measurement or standard!
- How terrible it is to pass judgment on someone else for doing the same thing we are doing, but when we are doing it, we justify ourselves!
- How easy it is for us to find an excuse for our actions, claiming that it is okay for us and not for others!
- How easy it is to demand that others do what we are not willing to attempt to do ourselves!
- How easy it is to judge others without any understanding or compassion whatsoever!
- How sad and awful it is when we look into the spiritual mirror and still cannot see ourselves for who we really are!
- How sad it is to judge others but refuse to judge or fail to examine ourselves!
- Do you appreciate fault finders when they come to you and bring every single flaw and mistake you make?
- Do you want to be nitpicked for every shortcoming in your life? Of course not!
- Why not measure yourself by the same judgment with which you measure others?
- Why be so quick to make wrong, false, unfair, and unrighteous judgments about others?
- Why be so hypocritical, seeing and pointing out the sins of others but failing to see our own?
- Why not follow the Master’s words and example of compassion and humility when judging the sins of others?
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like” (James 1:22–24).
- So what is the solution to this shameful behavior? (Matthew 7:5)
"5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."
- First, start looking at ourselves, carefully examining our actions before looking at others to judge them.
- To first examine our own hearts to see our own sins and failings before we dare to judge and confront others with their failures and shortcomings.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God."
"So then each of us will give an account of himself to God." (Romans 14:12)
"You have appointed your testimonies in righteousness and in all faithfulness."
"For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13.
In the end, this is the judgment that really matters. Think about that!
- Gossip, Defamation, and Slander:
“You shall not go about as a slanderer among your people, and you are not to act against the life of your neighbor; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:16).
“A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
“As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!” (Proverbs 25:23)
“Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.” (James 4:11)
“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.” (1 Peter 2:1
“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6).
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”
"The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." (Proverbs 18:8)
- Gossip separates friends, especially close friends:
- Gossip also sows strife and digs up evil:
"A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire." (Proverbs 16:27)
- It destroys a man's soul, digging his own grave:
"A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul." (Proverbs 18:7)
- Are you one that likes to hear others criticize and condemn our brethren?
- Do you make a habit of criticizing and making fun of other brethren so that you can feel more righteous and faithful?
- Do you talk about others, even brethren, when they cannot discuss Bible subjects or ideas well?
"The words of a whisperer are as dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts." (Proverbs 26:22)
"To speak evil of no man, not to be contentious, to be gentle, showing all meekness toward all men." (Titus 3:2)
"You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." (John 8:44)
"And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers[a] has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God." (Revelation 12:10)
"Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?" (James 4:11-12)
- Always being suspicious of others.
- Having bitterness in our hearts toward others.
- Being easily offended without a cause.
- Having envy and jealousy toward others.
- Believing the worst about others.
- Exaggerating the offenses of others.
- Judging godlessly rather than righteously.
- Holding people accountable because of their past failures.
- Imposing our scruples as standards for others.
- Using others as scapegoats.
- Putting someone down that we might look better.
- Taking “skeletons” out of the closet.
- Not accepting someone’s confession of sin and sorrow.
- Let us be aware that gossip and slander are destructive (Prov. 18:8, 26:22).
- Gossip and slander are compared to poison; once one drinks it, he cannot get it out of his system.
- The damage is enormous!
- It destroys people's relationships, separating them forever.
- Let us be aware that one of Satan's tactics to destroy the church is gossip and slander.
"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." (I John 1:5-6)
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" (Psalm 141:3)
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14)
May our speech to and about others be in accord with the apostle’s words.
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:29-32)
"Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people." (Titus 3:1-2)
- Railing and Backbiting:
"Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" (James 4:11-12)
- Biting and Excoriating:
“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).
- Biting and Devouring one another:
"But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another." (Galatians 5:15)
"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
Let us imitate our Lord and Savior as the perfect example.
"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly." (I Peter 2:21-23)Instead of Jesus speaking evil of those who unmercifully crucified Him, He prayed for them.
"And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' And they cast lots to divide his garments."' (Luke 23:34)
- What do you do when others come against you in word or deed?
- Is your immediate reaction to speak evil to others about what they did or are doing to you?
- Are you praying for them like Jesus our Lord did?
Imagine what a blessing it would be if all of us were to pray for one another rather than putting each other down and speaking evil about them to others! It would probably be like this:
"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing." (I Peter 3:8-9)
"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap."
- What seeds are you sowing out of your mouth in the kingdom of Christ?
- Are you sowing seeds of blessings or cursings?
- What are you harvesting?
"But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." (James 3:8-10)
"Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door." (James 5:9)
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2)
Thanks be to God,, we have a God who does not grumble or complain and is longsuffering about our shortcomings! He is longsuffering because He wants us to repent and correct our crooked ways. Indeed, our God is merciful and patient with His children.
"Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door."
- Are we condemning ourselves when we grumble or speak evil about others?
- Why not pray for them?
- Why not help them be built up and rooted in the faith, helping them overcome their weaknesses and shortcomings?
- Lack of Forgiveness:
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions." (Mark 11:25)
"Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." (Col. 3:13)
- What is not forgiveness?
- Is it ignoring all those who have wronged us?
- Is it more than a refusal to strike someone, blow for blow, or tooth for tooth?
- Is it ignoring or indulging in sin?
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."
- Is it putting the one who offends us on probation?
"Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord." (Acts 3:19)
He forgets, erasing it out of His memory.
"For I will be merciful to their iniquities, And I will remember their sins no more.” (Heb. 8:12)
And He treats us, His children, the same way He treated us before we sinned. He receives us back wholly and sincerely.
- How do we know we have forgiven someone who has wronged us?
- Simply by not rejoicing when he, the offender, has any misfortune.
- By not avoiding his presence.
- By not intimidating him and speaking harshly to him.
- By not constantly remembering the wrong committed.
- By praying for him before the Father on his behalf.
- By doing good and not evil to him, the offender.
This being said, let us take to heart the importance of forgiving one another. Why?
- Because God demands it to enter the kingdom of heaven, Mark 11:25; Col. 3:13; Rev. 22:14; John 14:15.
- Because Our Lord and Savior has left us an example, Luke 23:34; I Pet. 2:21-22; Phil. 2:5.
- Because of the example demonstrated by the disciples, the early church, Acts 7:60.
- Because love demands it, I Cor. 13:4; I Peter 4:8.
- Because we have been forgiven much, Eph. 4:32; Matt. 18:23-35.
- Because we need to forgive to be forgiven by the Father, Matt. 6:12,14,15; Mk. 11:25.
- Because it is the only way to walk with God, Amos 3:3.
- Because it is the only way to have complete fellowship with Him, I John 1:7.
- Because we will be judged, and we never know when Christ will come to do it, Mk. 13:32. We must not delay it.
- Because on the last day, we do not want to be found wicked because of an unforgiving heart: a heart filled with ill will, resentment, bitterness, and, most importantly, unforgiveness.
- How can we learn to sow seeds of forgiveness?
- By remembering that hatred, ill will, bitterness and unforgiveness do more harm to the hater than anyone else.
- By being grateful, considering how greatly we have been forgiven without deserving it.
- By asking for God's help through prayer.
- By praying for our offender.
- By speaking words of grace and kindness about our offender toward others.
- By developing an understanding and loving heart.
- By extending the same grace and compassion granted to us, Matt. 5:7; Jas. 2:13; Matt. 18:33.
- How often must I forgive?
"Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."' (Matthew 18:21-22)
- Who must take the initiative in forgiving?
- How can we make it possible to forgive?
- By not being thin-skinned.
- By not being offended easily, I Cor. 13:5.
- By dying to self and living by the Spirit, imitating Christ in us.
"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.'" (Luke 17:3-4)
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions." (Marks 11:25)
- Lack of Love:
"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions." (Proverbs 10:12)
Hatred seeks opportunities to provoke us against one another. It delights in beating upon others. On the contrary, love appeases. It removes offenses and injuries. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. It pours water on the fire rather than gasoline. Love causes one to smile at the triumphs of his rival. It does not keep track of grievances.
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others." (Phil. 2:3-4)
- Brotherly love is crucial to peace and unity:
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).
- Busybodies:
"For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies." (2 Thessalonians 3:11)
"But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters." (I Peter 4:15)
God is clear that we must mind our own business for the sake of His kingdom.
"And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you." (I Thessalonians 4:11)
He also wants us to mind His business and not be lazy. He demands that we be productive in His business and not idle.
"Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord." (Romans 12:11)
If we diligently labor for His cause, we will not attempt to run the lives of others. God has a lot for us to accomplish for His kingdom's sake.
- Anger:
"A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife." (Proverbs 15:18)
"An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression." (Proverbs 29:22)
"For the churning of milk produces butter, and pressing the nose brings forth blood; so the churning of anger produces strife." (Proverbs 30:3)
- Righteous Anger:
- Righteous anger focuses on God alone and His kingdom, His business, not on ourselves, our own kingdom, our rights, and our concerns.
- Righteous anger focuses on defending God against those who offend God, His name, and His rule. Our primary concern must be that of not offending God.
- Righteous anger is self-controlled. That means it will keep its head above sin, not cursing, screaming, raging, or going out of control. Nor does it cause one to be depressed in self-pity or despair. Nor does it ignore people, snub them or withdraw from them.
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." (Proverbs 19:11)
- He wants us to treat others with the same kindness and love. He wants us to extend the same grace freely that He has extended to us.
- He is slow to anger, waiting patiently for us to grow, be rooted up in His Word, mature to the stature of His Son, to precious vessels of righteousness for His glory.
- He is patiently helping us walk our Christian walk, but often we must turn the other cheek.
- Thus, we must follow the Golden Rule if we are His children.
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." (Matt. 7:12)
"Above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covereth a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8)
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15-17)
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Eph. 4:26)
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." (Prov. 19:11)
- Envy:
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot." (Proverbs 14:30)
- Lack of contentment.
- Lack of love.
- Envy is not just desiring what the other person has.
- It is not just being resentful toward those who have blessings that you don't.
- Envy does not want the other person to be blessed.
- Envy is the root cause of many other sins, such as adultery, stealing, slander, hatred, and murder. Pride is the cause of this seed of discord or disease of the heart.
- Aaron and Miriam:
"And they said, ;Has the LORD indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?' And the LORD heard it."' (Numbers 12:2)
- Korah, Dathan, Abiram:
"When men in the camp were jealous of Moses and Aaron, the holy one of the LORD." (Psalm 106:16)
- Saul toward David:
- The Jews:
- The Corinthians:
"But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, 3 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 4 For when one says, 'I follow Paul,' and another, 'I follow Apollos,' are you not being merely human?'" (I Cor. 3:1-4)
- Some even preached Christ out of envy to add affliction to Paul's chains:
"Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel." (Phil. 1:15-16)
"For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:3-7)
Envy is a fruit of the flesh, Galatians 5:19-21. It is demonic, James 3:14-15. My question is, Why do people envy? We can suggest several more things:
- Immaturity, Gen. 37:3-4
- Ego, Daniel 6:4
- Insecurity, I Samuel 18:7-9
- Greed, Ecclesiastes 4:4
- Frustration, Psalm 73:3
"It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man." (Matthew 15:11)
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)
- Pride or Desire for Preeminence:
"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2:3-5)
- The root cause of discord is lack of humility:
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2)
“Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).
“Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture” (Psalm 100:3).
God created us from the dust of the earth (Gen. 3:19; Eccl. 12:7).
- We are not as smart as we think we are (Matt. 10:30).
- We are not as strong as we think (Job 38:34-35).
- Ultimately, it is appointed for every man to die, and after that comes judgment (Eccl. 12:7; Heb. 9:27).
"And when the Philistine looked and saw David, he disdained him, for he was but a youth, ruddy and handsome in appearance. 43 And the Philistine said to David, 'Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?' And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. 44 The Philistine said to David, 'Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field.' 45 Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, 47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand.'" (1 Samuel 17:42-47)
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (Prov. 11:2).“Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished” (Prov. 16:5).
“One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (Prov. 29:23).
- Pride causes us to lose our compassion toward others:
- Pride is the greatest enemy of repentance:
“Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who can save and destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12)
“There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12)
- So, who are you to judge your neighbor?
- Who do you think you are?
- What makes you better or greater than others?
- Who gives you the right to judge or criticize someone else?
- Do you suppose you are a doer of God's Law when you speak evil of another?! Right?
- Do you think that when you slander someone, you are keeping God's Law?
- Pride delights in boasting:
“God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get” (Matt. 18:11-12).
“But they do all their deeds to be noticed (seen) by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. 6 They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues,7 and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men” (Matt. 23:5-7).
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. 2 'So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full'" (Matt. 6:1-2).
- Pride causes us to look down on others:
“Who is the LORD that I should obey His voice to let Israel go? I do not know the LORD, nor will I let Israel go.”
- Pride destroys relationships with others:
“By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom” (Prov. 13:10).
“He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat” (Prov. 28:25).
- Pride attacks the character of others rather than focusing on their problems and differences.
- Pride's primary goal is to divide people and reduce them to hostility.
- Pride will not allow anyone to say the words: “I am wrong, or I was wrong.” “I am sorry. Please forgive me for what I have done.” “I forgive you.”
- Pride destroys one's relationship (fellowship) with God:
“A haughty look, a proud heart, And the plowing of the wicked are sin” (Prov. 21:4).“These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look... “ (Prov. 6:16-17)
“Who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2:5-8).
- So, where do you stand before God?
- Are you living in pride or arrogance, thinking there will be no Judgment Day?
- Are you too proud to admit your faults or sins?
- Are you too proud to humbly ask forgiveness?
- Are you too proud to say “I am sorry” when you are wrong?
- Are you too proud to speak to and associate with certain brethren?
- Are you too proud to associate with those who are below you?
- Are you too proud to forgive those who sin against you?
- Are you too proud to teach the Gospel to the lost, the homosexual, the alcoholic, the prostitute, or those who practice lawlessness?
- Is pride taking control over your life?
- Those Who Divide Brethren:
- God has not been silent on this matter:
God has repeatedly warned His children about sowing discord, strife, quarrels, hatred, and contention among brethren (Prov. 16:28; 6:12, 14; 6:16,19; 10:12; 26:26; 20:3; 13:10; 17:14, 19; 26:21; 28:25). Our godless culture loves to manufacture and provoke endless controversy, argument, and divisive issues. Men take pleasure in starting strife and stirring the pot. Even when we teach the Gospel in all gentleness (2 Tim. 2:24) and love (Eph. 4:15), it is still received with overwhelming disagreement and vituperation.
Sadly, there is division instead of love and unity among brethren. Instead of fighting and devouring one another with divisive quarrels, why not work out our differences to further the Gospel and save the souls of many who may be traveling the path of eternal tragedy?! Jesus condemned the Pharisees for neglecting the weightier matters of the Law: justice, mercy, righteousness, and faithfulness. They focused on minor and trivial matters (Matt. 23:23). We must be the salt of the earth and help build up God's kingdom of righteousness through evangelism, edification, and benevolence for the saints. We must pray to God for wisdom to be builders and not brawlers (John 6:27, “labor for the food that endures to eternal life”).
- Division in the Lord's church is a terrible crime:
Those guilty of sowing discord, conflict, controversy, and division will be abhorred and rejected by God (Prov. 6:16-19). God has always wanted His children to get along and be united (Psalm 133:1; John 17:21; 1 Cor. 1:10). God is not the author of confusion and division (1 Cor. 14:33). Division results when men cease to walk in the Light and choose to walk in darkness (1 John 1:7). Disrespect for all divine authority causes division among men (Matt. 28:18-20; Eph. 5:24). Envy, jealousy, greed, and carnality cause division (Acts 20:30; 2 Peter 2:3; 1 Cor. 3:3-4). Many souls are lost when there is division.
Since many refuse to walk in the Light, they cannot have communion with Christ. His blood cannot cleanse them from their sins (1 John 1:7). All division is of the flesh and results in death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace (1 Cor. 3:3; Rom. 8:6). Indeed, the church is crippled when there is division and strife. Those who belittle all divine authority cause division because they lack love for God, His Word, and His church.
Division, strife, and conflict have always been around. The church the Lord purchased with His own blood, has not been immune to this. Just look around and notice the religious confusion today. Although Jesus established only one church (Matt. 16:18; Eph. 4:4; 1:22-23), man has created many today, and all this because of division, strife, and disagreement. This religious confusion has brought such change since the earliest times when the church of Christ was built. It continues until today when hundreds of churches started as the product of selfishness. How? Men and women wanting to do and have things their own way without respecting the authority and Lordship of Christ. So, when they didn't get things done their way, they left their original group to start a new one. Does that sound familiar? We still have this problem today!
Everyone seems to be drifting like sheep whenever someone disagrees with them or they don't like the way things are done in the church. Often these have conflicts with others over personal matters. Instead of solving them the way Jesus demands, they leave and start a new group. We forget that since the beginning of the church, there has always been only one church whose followers were merely Christians striving to do the will of their Father. Jesus prayed for unity among all Christians (John 17:20-21).
The apostle Paul also prayed and preached that there be no divisions but that all Christians should be of the same mind and judgment in Christ (1 Cor. 1:10). Unfortunately, nothing has changed, and there are still divisions among the followers of Christ. And why? Because men refuse to firmly follow Jesus and His apostles' teachings. Little by little, men begin thwarting God's plan for the church and bringing in new ideas and changes that God did not authorize. That's exactly where all religious error begins. Man rejects what God has authorized in the New Testament, choosing to please himself in whatever form of religion, doing whatever he wants in worship. As a result, conflicts arise, division results, and thus many of today's denominations were born and continue to emerge.
Man's selfishness and desires to please himself have been the cause of today's religious confusion and the formation of many churches instead of one true church. And though we all have the same Bible and Gospel that can be understood clearly, there is a lot of chaos and confusion. There can never be any unity unless all men abandon their selfish desires and wrong and sinful practices and start doing God’s will.
The Lord's church has suffered tremendously because of the many conflicts and selfish desires of stubborn men (in many cases, one or two men). This ought not to be! We must learn to submit to one another with love in matters of indifference. We must learn to get along and work out our differences in the spirit of love! God demands that we walk in the Light as He is in the Light to have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7). That we agree with one another and have the same mind and judgment (1 Cor. 1:10). Finally, that we speak the same thing as the oracles of God (1 Peter 4:11). You can rest assured this will avoid all strife and unnecessary conflict! I don't see any other way for unity!!
Therefore, we must lay aside all prejudices, and stop behaving like children (1 Cor. 14:20; Eph. 4:13). We must strive to show tolerance, humility, and patience for one another in love. We must be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph. 4:1-6).
- Conflicts Are Costly:
We have already seen the devastating consequences of conflict and disagreements among Christians and the refusal to submit to one another in the fear of the Lord. Somehow, many followers of Christ believe that since we're all Christians, follow the Word of God and obey the command to love one another, there will be no conflicts among us. It is pure idealism and is not realistic! We have already read the letter to the Philippians in chapter 4 that the church was made up of people from various backgrounds. Lydia was a businesswoman from Asia with a Jewish background. We also read of two women in that church that had conflicts and differences. As one reads what Paul is writing in this letter, he will immediately notice that Christians must learn to get along with one another. We must get along, not only to be at peace with each other but for the sake of the Gospel. Christians must learn to resolve and work out all differences and conflicts among themselves. Refusing to resolve conflicts among us will be costly to the welfare of the church. Conflict will indeed harm the Lord's work in each individual church.
In the letter to the Philippians, it is interesting that Paul does not point out who is right and wrong. He merely pleads with them to agree with each other in the Lord. It is pretty evident that they were to work out their conflicts for the sake of the Lord. When Christians fight and quarrel with each other, many terrible things happen as a consequence. Consider them.
- The Lord's reputation is harmed.
- The Lord's work (the work of each church to further the Gospel) is hampered.
- The body of Christ is hindered and thus is handicapped.
- All peace (personal) is disturbed.
- Conflict takes away love and moves us further from the heart of God.
- Patiently Teaching Them:
"The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." (2 Timothy 2:24-26)
- If they are irritated or angry, we must not be.
- If they oppose the Truth, we must still show it to them calmly.
- If they are slow to see it, we are not to become weary or impatient.
- Even if they do not embrace it, we must not become angry with them and denounce them. We may feel sorry for them because they don't have eyes to see the Truth, but we must not insult or humiliate them or use harsh words with them. This counsel is not just acceptable but also wise. It will render us more effective.
"For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil." (Romans 14:15-16)
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others." (Matthew 23:23)
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."' (Matthew 5:43-45)
"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them that are causing the divisions and occasions of stumbling, contrary to the doctrine which ye learned: and turn away from them." (Romans 16:17)
"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:29-32)
- Let us speak words that will help them become stronger Christians.
- Let us not grow bitter and angry.
- Let us not shout angrily.
- Let us not say things that hurt another that we will soon regret and repent of.
- Why not be kind and loving to each other?
- Why not forgive each other as God forgave us through His Son?
- Let us encourage others with our words.
- Let us inspire others with well-seasoned words.
"What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?"
"Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?" (4:1)
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others." (Phil. 2:3-4)
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35)
"Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel." (Philippians 1:27)
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away." (I Cor. 13:4-8)
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (Phil. 4:8)
"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes up a reproach against his friend." (Psalm 15:1-3)
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matt. 5:9).
May we never be among those who sow discord, but rather may we be of one accord!
May our Lord help us resolve our differences and conflicts kindly without quarreling so that we may please Him. May we love each other amid our differences. May we edify one another rather than destroy each other. May we walk worthy of our Lord and His Gospel with all humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, and brotherly love. May we bear with one another in love and maintain the unity of the Spirit as we have been called. May we grant the same grace that has been given to each of us, according to the measure of Christ's gift. Finally, may the Lord help us to walk together as the family of Christ so that we might reach Heaven as our home.
I want leave you with the sentiments of our sacred song, "Blest Be the Tie that Binds," to meditate on. Our beautiful song talks about our love and fellowship with one another in the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Our Father in Heaven wants His children to be knit together by the tie, which binds just as threads are knit together. One of the greatest blessings we Christians have here on earth is our fellowship and association with one another to encourage and prepare us for heaven. Our song beautifully pictures the blessings of such a relationship which must be based on brotherly love as it says, "Blest Be The Tie That Binds."
"That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ." (Col. 2:2)